[The Afoci]

Lets start the pre-victory party now, baby

With the first ever sale of a youth player, The Fighting Crawfish earn approximately $18,000. I feel it is a little low for a 17 y/o inadequate keeper, but $18k is good enough for one hell of a pre-victory party. And with that, let Late Tuesday/Early Wednesdays festivities begin…

As Lars-Olof "Chris Gaines" Uddstad band, Altered, was just finishing setting up one of the sides stages of the festival, FrogMan’s Semi pulls up stocked full of Canadian beer. Jerome "give me the damn" Ball and Panos "Greek God" Kolokotronis step out of the semi and walk to the back and open it up.

Panos “Greek God” Kolokotronis looks around…”Where is Hornsmaniac_2?”

Some of the security fill him in that he won’t be in until Friday, although that may not be true considering this is the only party he will be allowed to attend on this board…

Lars-Olaf “Chris Gaines” Uddstad then sets down his bottle of Everclear(a true North Dakota drink and picks up his guitar. His long hair is tied back in a bandana and his jeans look like they have gone through a paper shredder. He hits the first chord of the first song and the crowd goes wild. “Unskinny bop, blows me away, yeah, unskinny bop….”

Meanwhile in a secret hide out not so far from the pre-victory party…

“Come on, just take it off” starts The Afoci “You can trust me, it is good. You are in the secret hide out, there is nothing to be scared of. Perhaps this will help you decide…” He then hands Marmel a mix of Everclear and cheap strawberry pop.

“What is it?” asks Marmel

“Trust me, you will like it” says The Afoci

With that Marmel tips back the glass and drinks the entire contents of the 44 oz big glup kamikaze of Everclear and cheap strawberry pop. Within minutes, the crawfish safe jock strap is off and both of them are sitting bottomless drunk off there asses.

“Here Chavez “the dope finding” Dog” says The Afoci “Here boy…”

Chavez “the dope finding” Dog comes running to them and gives them a weird look. After both Marmel and The Afoci do there best to fight of glaucoma, Chavez speaks. “It better be Jif, because choosy dogs choose Jif”…

Back at the entrance to the party

Two men stumble to the gate and demand in. After further inspection it appears to be two of the West Fargo Stangs. The horrible soccer squad from the West Side of town decided to stop by. Allen Parker, and Martin Elstad play in perhaps the easiest soccer division in all of Hattrick and are masters of the pre-victory parties. Owner of the squad and former Fighting Crawfish Mascot BoB stumbles in drunk behind them. He has no invitation, but who would turn down a 6’6” beast from the east who also happens to be your manager?

“I hate that song!” screams BoB at the stage as Lars-Olof “Chris Gaines” Uddstad begins playing “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. (Sadly Allen Parker looks and sound very similar to a she-male version of Crow). “Play some Dave!!!” screams BoB in reference to the Dave Mathews Band. He then begins to dance.

Approaching the gate now is none other than the representatives of the Galesburg Avengers. Ken Shaffer is first to arrive and jumps into the back of the semi full of Canadian Beer. He returns a few minutes later butt ass naked and begins running through the crowd. Coffee Warlord would be proud. Within minutes he is found passed out with 18 Crawfish attached to his sack. Apparently he thought by diving into the Crawfish pool out back he could sneak attack them and get a great head start on eating all of them…he was wrong. May his sack be in your prayers. God bless.

Anyway, lets hope that there other guys does better. Kenneth “I need some American” Loven comes in, stops and scans the crowd. He is obviously drunk and feels out of place. But who wouldn’t if you came in wearing only a wife beater, some a pair of very short shorts and a huge gold chain that read “Playerz”. He walks to one of the first women he sees and in some very broken English he speaks…

“I have Funny Cock” starts Kenneth “I need some American” Loven “Me want to have intercourse with an American lady. You have large woman melons that I want to…um…um…what is the word…um…oh fuck it wetyt wiqeytpywuqe f pywt ysdfywt sad wtphyasdfhgqyrweptyasdfhi ytsadhwqiuytg awytysfpg.” After what appeared some sort of war call, he buried his head in her chest and passed out some few minutes later due to lack of oxygen. They needed the Jaws of Life to retrieve him from the breasts of the stripper.

After hearing some Spanish music followed by “Olla!” or what ever the bull fighters say, the attention of the crowd turned to Csanád Szabó and Fernando Velazquez of Nyarlahotep squad. Csanád Szabó was playing an acoustic guitar as Fernando Velazquez was wearing a cape and had was running back and forth screaming “Olla!” Upon further inspection, it appears that he is up against [b]Tom[b]. While Tom may not seem scary, Tom is only the scariest Crawfish the Fighting Crawfish have. So instead of a bull, Fernando Velazquez is fighting a Crawfish. After many passes, Tom eventually latches on to his sack. Fernando Velazquez immediately hits the ground in agony and Csanád Szabó rushes to him. He is able to wrestle Tom off Fernando Velazquez sack and immediately puts his mouth on Fernando Velazquez’s sack and begins sucking.

“What in the hell are you doing?” asks Fernando Velazquez

“I am saving your life” says Csanád Szabó “I am sucking out the poison!”

“Alright then, but stop using your teeth” says Fernando Velazquez “…and um…maybe use your hand more.”

“Okay” says Csanád Szabó. About 3 minutes later he speaks again. “Damn, who knew that Crawfish poison was so salty???”

Lets hope alcohol was involved in this one.

That last incident caused quite a commotion and suddenly The Afoci and Marmel come running out of the secret hide out not so far away from the pre-victory party. After surveying the damage, The Afoci realizes everything is going fine and him and Marmel turn and began walking back towards the secret hide out not so far from the pre-victory party.

“You were right” says Marmel “I really do like the added texture that chunky peanut butter adds to it. And that Chavez “the dope finding” Dog, he has desire like no dog I have been with before.”

“I know what you mean, I know what you mean” says The Afoci as the walk back down the stairs to the secret hide out not so far from the pre-victory party. As they reach the bottom a bus shows up with mckerney, Aesyrqwe, robbgmaier, Qwikshot, and DataKing representatives for the party. But there are some mysterious figures in the back of the bus, could they be from your squad, or is it just Hornsmaniac_2 under a different alias trying to pick up some she-males. Find out tomorrow!