Dad Doesn't Take Medication = Time in Mental Hospital
 

It's almost 4am and can't sleep. I've been stressing big time about my dad, here's the story.

On April 28th my dad stopped taking his medication and became physically aggressive with my mom. Mom got scared and called the cops. They went over and took him to a mental hospital. He was there for like a week. My uncle (mom's brother) went to visit him and said he was in really bad shape. Not physically, but they drugged him so much he was either asleep all the time, or so out of it he'd slur his speech. I think he was there for a couple of weeks and got transferred to a nursing home. My dad, in a fucking nursery home, are you kidding me? Anyway, that's where he's at now. I called him on Friday and it was... surreal. I thought it was gonna be a sad conversation, but, this is how it went:

Me - Hi dad, how are you?
Dad - Hi. They're treating me well here. Hey, guess what? The other day I saw a cop car and I kept staring at their car and thought about the door opening and you know what, the door opened! It was...

Then he just dropped the phone.. no bye, nothing. Then a volunteer came to the phone and started talking to me. I told her who I was and she called him again. He rambled on about who knows what (I can't remember, but his speech was both slurred and he talked really fast) and he dropped the phone again. No bye or nothing. I could hear him talking in the background but it wasn't clear. He seemed like... he was on speed or something, but at the same time, his speech seemed sorta slurred. I didn't get a chance to say anything to him.

So yeah, he's not doing well. I don't know if they're over medicating him or what but my mom and sister visited him again and they couldn't keep up with him. He'd get up, sit down, talk and talk and talk, get up, sit down, etc.

It's not a pretty situation, I feel really bad for him. Only a handful of people know so please don't mention anything on Facebook. I think about him all the time, the good times when we'd go to mountains, jump in a river, and go on road trips. Good times. To see him deteriorating like this is really sad.

If you're still with me, thanks for reading, I needed an outlet.

Sorry to hear. I'm guessing he's bipolar and having a mania episode. I had a Grandpa who suffered from it as well and it's really scary when they go through it. You don't even recognize the person.

I would say that if you aren't comfortable with the treatment, to ask a lot of questions and potentially getting a 2nd opinion. Find out the drugs they are giving him and do some research.

Thanks Rainmaker. Yeah my mom says he's like a different person. She's actually going to court later today for a restraining order against him because she's afraid of what could happen if he stops taking meds.

I spoke to his nurse but of course they won't release information because of HIPAA rules and whatnot so asked my mom to put me on the list. My mom has his pills and according to the label, he was taking 500mg of Divalproex and 300mg of Seroquel at the time of his "arrest". So yeah, as soon as I find out more information I'm getting a 2nd opinion.

I guess the most important thing to remember is that this isn't him. It's his illness. My Grandpa was a laid-back guy who was soft spoken and polite. He turned into another person during an episode. I remember one incident where he tried to start a fire in the basement and then proceeded to assault a police officer when he came over. If I had told a friend of his who didn't know he was bipolar, they would have laughed me out of the room.

I would definitely get on that list and work with the doctors. I would find out if they are giving him Seroquel as well (it sounds like it based on the slurred speech and the fact his body lost its tolerance for it when he got off his medication). That drug can be dangerous for older patients. There are other alternatives like Risperdal and Zyprexa which he may find better and willing to take regularly.

Part of the battle with mental illness is finding a drug that the person is willing to take. When he gets better, you have to make it very clear to him that he needs to keep taking his medication if he wants to maintain a relationship with his family.

Sorry to hear DC, I hope you guys are able to figure out what's going on and can get the right kind of care for him. :(

My wife is bipolar, so I feel your pain and confusion, DC. (Even if your dad isn't bipolar, I know how scary sudden and shocking changes in behavior can be.)

Your family will be in my prayers.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I'll be very interested to see what EF27 has to say about this situation.

:( Sorry Dodgerchick - as others have said, this isn't your father - it's the sickness.

Rainmaker's last comment is the most important. I have a friend who is bi-polar and has had a lot of up and downs - but he's been medicated for several years now and his quality of life is 1000% better.

My thoughts are with you and your family through this difficult time....

DC, I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. Stay strong, trust that your dad is in good hands and he'llget better. Maybe not soon, but he will.

I am so sorry DC. Hang on to the good memories, and as others have mentioned - with the proper treatment, I hope you will create many more good memories with him. Take care of yourself first, and you will have strength to help with his struggles & recovery.

Sorry DC. Everyone else has already given all the good medical advice, so I'll refrain from echoing all of that. Just hope that things get better soon and you're able to enjoy more good times with your dad.

Try to be patient with finding the proper combination of medicines. A lot of folks think doctors can run diagnostics, figure out the right combination of meds, and quickly get a good result. The truth is that there is a lot of trial and error and necessary observation with medicine (and particularly so with mental illness). If you and your family think they are simply sedating him, maybe you (or your family that is local) can ask around and find a psychiatrist that has a better reputation.

In any case, hoping for the best for you and your family. I know it is really difficult to see our loved ones, particularly our parents, go through times like these.

Sorry DC....hope things take a turn for the better soon.

Sorry to hear that DC, I hope he gets better soon.

Lorena this is just horrible. If there's anything you need - a place to crash on the drive to East Los, please don't hesitate to ask.

Yikes, Lorena!
I hope he gets better soon.

/tk

So sorry, and hoping for the best.

That really sucks. I hope the doctors can get him back on track and that he stays on his medication.

I'm sorry to hear this, Lorena. Those dosage amounts sound awfully high IMO.

As a bipolar myself who has stopped his medication numerous times (in fact it's been a year, year and a half maybe since I've taken it), I can say that getting us to stay on our medications is one of the biggest battles, both for us and those who care about us.

Oh, damn. I am sorry to hear of your dad's troubles. :(

Thanks so much guys, I really appreciate the kind words.

Izulde, yeah my dad has been really stubborn about taking his medication. He says it makes him drowsy and he sleeps a lot.. he doesn't like it. One day he was working on his car and my mom, not knowing where he was starting looking for him and found him... asleep under the car.

So yeah, I'm anxious to get on that list. What sucks is that there's a pretty big language barrier with my mom not speaking english very well so it's hard for her to communicate with the social worker, nurses, doctors, etc. My poor mom, she felt so bad last night about the restraining order she felt like dropping charges. She needs to take care of herself too so I suggested finding help too. She thinks she's losing it.

I suspect at some level that this is much like the situation you see with drugs or alcohol in regards to the family. The family and friends need to learn the ways to deal with their loved one's situation just as much as the afflicted person needs to find ways to deal with their problem.

Speaking in generalities and not about any specific person, 500 mg of Depakote is not a large dosage. In fact, it is the starting dosage for most adults. A typical daily dosage for a person who has classic Bipolar (or even someone who has organic damage that is mimicking Bipolar) is 1000-2000 mg depending upon their body mass, etc. However, if they are elderly and/or have decreased Liver functions they may need a smaller dosage. Similarly, 300 mg of Seroquel is not a large dosage for someone who is really manic and/or psychotic. A typical target dosage of Seroquel is often 600-800 mg unless a person has impaired clearance.

Edit to clarify: I'm talking about total dosage per day in the above numbers. Depakote is often giving divided 2-4 times/day (500 mg, 3 times per day is not uncommon for an adult) while Seroquel is often given twice a day.

I agree with your 2nd point completely. Compliance with medications is the biggest issue for most people with Bipolar and many patients end up being hospitalized 4-5 times before their compliance increases.


Anyway, I'll be keeping your family in my prayers, DC.

The hospital has an ethical (and in some states legal) responsibility to provide a translator for all sessions/information exchanges with your mother. Hopefully, you can help get them to comply with this responsibility.

I had an extremely bright an promising student fall apart last year due to bipolar. Last Fall he got kicked out of the study abroad program and left school. I've heard the school is trying to get his scholarship of 15-20k back because he left England. Terrible, terrible disease.

Good luck DC.

I feel you... When my dad had his second heart attack he suffered severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen for an extended period (he really shouldn't have made it, as the EEG several days later showed no activity.) I lived out of town, so after the initial visit it took a couple months to visit the nursing home he was put in. He physically aged 20 years, didn't remember things like which direction to sit on a toilet or to put pants on. He thought the nursing home was the factory he used to work in & everyone there were coworkers. He couldn't tell the difference between his dreams and reality. He even took a swing at me.

It is damn painful seeing someone you love in such condition. Just let him know how much you love him and do the best you can. You have to be the strong one now (it's weird when you suddenly become the "parent" in the relationship.)

I'll be praying for your family. Stay strong & God Bless. You're not alone...