How Do You Handle Jehovah's Witnesses? (or other door to door religion peddlers)
 

Just had some Jehovah's Witnesses stop by. Sometimes I talk with them, sometimes I don't. This time I hid from them and didn't answer the door. Just didn't feel like talking with them today.

I have cousins that are Witnesses so I make it a point not to be an ass to other door to door religion peddlers. But sometimes I just hide.

I have never been rude to anyone. I usually just try to be polite, listen to their message, wish them a good day and let them move on. Thankfully, my dog is a bit hyper and goes a bit crazy when the doorbell rings or someone's at the door, so if things go on too long, I have used him as an excuse to shut it down.

Given the layout of my house, it's hard to see who's at the door without being seen, so hiding is difficult. If I could do it, I would.

Usually with all types of people like that I'll try to be polite. Even telemarketers - unless I'm in the middle of something. It's not their fault they need to make a buck, or do "religious service" by going door-to-door. No sense in being mean to your fellow human being.

If they're religious folks and not out to sell something per se, I might offer to bring them out a glass of water on the front steps or something, but I'd warn them that they shouldn't waste their time trying to convert me because not only would it be a complete waste of time, but my friendly & hospitable nature would dissapear in an instant.

Something like this:

JW: "Oh hi sir...we're Jehovah's Witnesses."
Me: "Let me stop you right there. I have no interest in listening to your religious pitch - it would only be a waste of time and turn this interaction hostile. I'd be happy to stand here out of the sun with you while you take a little break and offer you a glass of water and a cookie though. This must be very exhausting emotionally and physically. Relax for a few minutes."
JW: "Okay."

And then if they tried to weasel back in the religious stuff...I'd shake my head and go back inside and lock the door.

Um, you don't answer the door here, lest you catch some hot lead up in your grill.

Politely send them on their way? That's not an option?

I let them start, but then say I have a religion and won't change my mind about it. They usually say thanks and leave.

I tend to engage them and proceed to pick apart their religion. Once I even invited them in and had my laptop out in the living room asking them to explain certain things. I must have wasted a go 45 mins on them before they realized that I was just fucking with them.

JW's specifically? It ain't a pretty sight if they try to go any further beyond "not the least bit interested, goodbye". If they persist I take their proffered Watchtower, set it ablaze with my Zippo, and hand it back to them. I've yet to have a return visitor from that method. My issues with JW's is more personal than religious in nature & stems from a highly inappropriate response I received from one of them a long time ago when I still treated them the same as all the others.

Bicycling Mormon's et al? "No interested, have a nice day, be careful out there" and door closes.

My grandmother had a different approach, I mention here largely for the humor of it. Her deal was that if she listened to them & their pitch then they had to listen to her religious point of view as well. They stopped visiting her home after she was so effective that she shook half of a JW duo, to the extent that the wavering one was basically dragged out of the house by his partner, only to return on his own/alone later to thank my grandmother for pointing out some things that he had never really considered & left saying that he had some serious soul searching to do.

that's awesome your grandmother used to do that...hahaha

Tell them thanks, but no thanks. Anything else is just wasted energy. If I had someone knocking on my door every day I'm sure I'd do something different, but given that I get someone at the door maybe 1x a month, it isn't that big of a hassle.

If you had known her you could almost certainly appreciate how funny it really was. Her beliefs were strongly held but also extremely personal for her. If you asked, she'd tell you, but otherwise I don't know that I ever heard her offer anyone an opinion unsolicited. A quiet woman, very reserved, rail-thin, and her version of harsh criticism was closing her eyes & shaking her head slowly (and even that only briefly). So for her to set a JW straight was pretty much surreal.

I just don't answer the door. If the next place I live doesn't have a peephole in the front door, adding one will be the first thing I do on day 1. This goes for any solicitation attempts at all.

I usually answer the door in my boxers and hand them some porn.

I don't know if this is a new focus, but the last time I had JW's at the door they just introduced themselves, gave us a brochure with their monthly meeting place/time and thanked us and left. I was expecting to have to tell them I wasn't interested but it never even got to that point.

I'll talk with them politely, I feel kinda sorry for them - they're in a religion which basically asks for them to receive abuse on a regular basis for no reason other than dogma (or saving souls depending on your point of view ;) ).

A lot of the people doing it are just kids and I think its important to treat them with respect and allow them some dignity even if you don't subscribe to their viewpoint (that isn't to say that I won't explain to them why I'm not about to convert, but I do try and do so politely).

PS - My mum had the best approach she used to invite them in and have them help her with the housework while they attempted to 'convert' her :D

I'm fine as long as they take no for an answer. The only times I've been rude were when they refused to leave after I told them I wasn't interested.

JW are the ones that believe only x amount of people go to heaven, correct?

My question is, why are they looking for the competition?

I don't know the answer to that, but I was in a Bible study group for like half a year once. I requested we go through Revelations since that interested me. I was kinda surprised there were dimensions for Heaven... I forget what they were, but they give actual measurements. Now, I guess who knows how big you are in the afterlife, but I still found it odd and never hear it mentioned (Christian faith).

Depends on the day. If I'm in the mood I'll engage politely for awhile but I make it clear from the start that I'm on a different belief system. If not I don't answer the door.

Inviting them in for trout isn't good enough of an option for you? Sheesh. Some people you can't please.

"ya like huey lewis and the news?"

I'm a little rude to anybody that knocks on my door. I wasnt always that way but the older I get the more grumpy I get when people ring my doorbell unsolicited. They could be JW, selling steak, magazines, my neighbor (jk)... whatever. I just dont care to encourage door to door activity even if it might be something I'd be interested in.

I chose slam the door because, well...if it is an adult I basically will just tell them I'm not interested and close the door. Not usually rude in tone...but closing the door without listening to their response to my "not interested" is probably a bit less polite than I could be...but it sure does avoid a lot of unproductive dialog.

If its a little kid I'll usually listen to them for a minute and come up with a lame excuse as to why I can't donate, or have to go, etc.

I try hiding. If I make the mistake of answering the door, I quickly and politely make sure they know I am uninterested. If they don't take the hint, the door gets shut in their face.

A friend of mine used to blast Slayer and death metal. Sure enough it freaked them the hell out and never went back.

A "friend". Right. :lol:

The only solicitors I've seen for quite some time are neighborhood kids selling crap for school. But on the off-chance someone else comes by, my dogs are going so crazy that it's an easy out - sorry, I can't really talk right now or my dogs will get loose and maul you if I stand here too long.

I imagine Slayer's Jesus Saves would be the perfect soundtrack for a JW visit.

You should talk like A.C. Slater instead. "Listen preppy, I'm not buying what you're peddling here. You want to sell, why don't you take a hint from my friend Zack and set up an elaborate locker door store. You'll move items like that."

My roommate once answered the door with a 100% honest "I'm sorry I can't talk right now as my Zoroastrian boyfriend is taking a nap."

:D

I haven't any peddlers of any kind come to my door in about 10 years, and that's over 3-4 different cities.

I thought they gave up.

I had a nice older couple at my door a couple weeks ago. Former Catholic turned agnostic me and JW them were able to agree that it is a shame what the public face of Christianity has turned into these days. But I wouldn't take the Watchtower.

Oh wait - I was approached by a guy on a street corner talking to everyone about god. My girlfriend was there and is the nicest person in the history of earth, so she engaged, and I found myself talking to him and praying with him for about 5 minutes. I was extremely uncomfortable, but afterwards, felt really good, because even if we were the only ones who took the time to talk to him all day, I'm sure it gave him a lot of satisfaction. The guy was only trying to save my soul, for god's sake.

Hey pal. Save my soul on your own time.

That's nice of you.

There's no: Answer the door naked option...

I can usually see them coming so I just put my big ass dog out on the porch. Problem solved.

This.

I'm usually pretty nice and just tell them I'm not interested and to stay safe. Why be a dick if you don't have to?

This used to happen to me when I was a kid/teenager on summer break. A few times over break I'd get woken up by door-to-door soul savers. For awhile I listened to them. Got a few free books out of the deal (Mormons gave me a free Book of Mormon, a few others gave me pamphlets and small books).

It was when some of them started making 2nd and 3rd visits that my patience ran out. I either didn't answer the door (while making no effort to hide or pretend I wasn't home), or just told them I wasn't interested and closed the door before they could respond. I did feel bad about getting a bit nasty with this woman once. She caught me at a bad time and I said "I'm not in the mood for this" and slammed the door (her 2nd time at my door, and last).

That seemed to be the negative aspect of giving them a few minutes of my time. Like telemarketers after they smell some blood (through the phone line...), they targeted my house for repeat attempts.

But, I haven't had to deal with this is some time. Guess my work hours and their work hours are the same.

Ah, so it's grandma we have to blame ;)

Nah, I'm adopted so there's no genetics between me & her. And our styles are about as diff as possible.

This. Though Mormons are a bigger problem here than JWs.

Like 10 years ago or so we were having a get together and saw Mormons coming. I answered the door wearing nothing but a crocodile g-string (long story behind that particular article of clothing), with my mate on all fours in his boxers, wearing a dog collar with me holding the lead. The two Aryan-looking young Mormons just gasped and retreated slowly.

I picked slam the door, but I don't really slam it. I tell them politely but firmly not interested and close the door if they attempt to persist. FWIW, this is also my approach for all door to door sales as well unless it is a kid.

Depends on my mood.

Sometimes I have just ignored it. Other times just said thank you but not interested and sent them on their way.

Then a couple of my favorites...

One of the best reactions that I received was when I told them that I already had a religion.... that I was a Satanist. Thought the guy was about to soil himself when I invited him to our next sacrificial offering.

Another time I felt a little antagonistic so I listened to them and kept bringing up questions about their beliefs. Things that make no sense if you logically look at it. Kept getting the answer "you have to have faith" and I would counter that with "I am sure that centuries ago people said that you just had to have faith about the sun rising every day but now we know the scientific explanation behind it". They used to worship the sun as a god but now we know better. Those type of things. There is no chance of taking this approach now, I don't have the patience for this now that I am getting older.

When Sam was on two naps a day we found a sign that said "Please be quiet: baby is sleeping" meant a complete cessation of solicitors, even though the purpose was simply to have people knock softly as opposed to use the doorbell.

I just hand them Kodos's phone number. It's worked like a champ in the past.

We live down the block from a Mormon church, so I get various people 2-3 times a month. Its very annoying. I've started doing one of the following three:

1. Ignore the door.

2. Turn on porn and open the door, since the TV is pointed directly at the door.

3. Answer the door, tell them I'm Catholic, and ask if they have a younger brother who could explain their religion to me better...

2/3 of those are awesome. If you open the door with porn though you should prolly also dip the hand you extend for a handshake in a jar of vaseline first and unbutton your pants...

just a thought...

Fixed it for ya... :)

I have a buddy who had the Mormons knock on his door. He was only wearing his boxers. when he answered the door, he immediately grabbed one of the Mormons in a 2-handed shake and didn't let go. Just kept making eye-contact and shaking their hand with both of his. After a few minutes, they made some excuses and left. My friend went back inside and his wife pointed out that his dick was sticking out of his boxers the whole time.