Does anyone know an operation that can connect my brain to my mouth?
 

Came home from work yesterday and noticed the wife's hair looked different, I *thought* it looked a little redder, but didn't say anything at first since I wasn't 100% sure, me being an idiot and all. We were outside later and then I noticed it was definitely redder than usual.


me: what did you do to your hair? (in a perfectly normal tone of voice)
her: I coloured it.
me: wtf did you do that for?
her: just to experiment and have fun.
me: what's wrong with doing that with other women instead?
her: silence
her: do you like it?

Now, what I wish I had said, what I really WISH I had said was "yes".


What actually came out was something that *might* have sounded like "I always wanted to have sex with Raggedy Ann" but possibly a little cruder.

Guess who got to watch sportscenter all by himself?

Why don't I ever learn?!?!? :D

No matter what you said, it would have been wrong.

And that's why the Expos are out of Montreal.

And we now know why the divorce rate is 50%.

See- I have the opposite problem. I need something to build in about a 2 second delay between my brain and mouth :D

SI

LMAO

Raggady Ann...LMAO

send her to cuervo

Learn what? I'd kill for the chance to be left alone in peace to watch SportsCenter. No, if my wife and I had had that conversation, we'd be watching about six episodes of NCIS in a row, followed by an encore presentation of "Sydney White (now on DVD!)". After she kicked my ass, of course, because, you know, she's built like Terrell Owens.

I'm reminded about the old old old Doonesbury strip touring Ronald Reagan's brain, and about the vocal end run that he was famous for.

Something like "Normally, the unconscious mind comes up with something, the conscious mind filters it and edits it as necessary, and then it goes out. In Reagan's brain, occasionally something from the unconscious brain will make an end run straight to his mouth, and come out"

Reminds me past year, when we had a friend's weeding on Saturday. Friday night, my wife told me she wanted to go to the hairdresser to get pretty for the wedding that was on Saturday afternoon.

Saturday morning I went out to the gym and after that to do some shopping. When i came back home, i saw her in the kitchen cooking, we talked some stuff and then i asked, btw, when are you going to the hairdresser? the wedding is this afternoon... and she answered... i went already...darling...

Luckily she knows i'm not the guy who pays the most attention to aesthetic :)

The only thing I think you can do to purge this from her memory is to look her directly in her eyes, smile tenderly and tell her how fat she looks.

Who knew Spanish women liked to get all dolled up for gardening? :D

Never said it wasn't a win-win situation! :)

ROFL had to re-read it a few times to understand the joke, ok, edited :)

nice to see sposfan finally upping his post count

lol, try again?

Awesome :D

SI

I think you're lucky to get to that last statement. I don't think I'd have been allowed beyond "wtf did you do that for?"

I actually pulled a variation of the old Elvis line "a little less conversation a little more action" with my wife (with even less subtlety than the king) when we first started dating. She's never let me forget it, but my opinion is you should never censor great art.

Let's just say, that in the 10 years that we've been married, I've set that expectation bar mighty low.

This way, when I miss it (which is a lot more often than not), it's not by that much! :)