Gems from "Not Always Right"
 

This site is hilarious - always good for a laugh. So I thought I'd make a thread for people to post stories on there they've found that are gems.

Like this one:

Wild Accusations

Call Center | Asheville, NC, USA
Customer: “I keep seeing a charge for $9.99 on my account. Why do you people keep charging me $9.99?”
Me: “Sir, that charge is coming not from us, but from GGW.”
Customer: “What the h*** is GGW? People are stealing my money and you do nothing! So what the h*** is GGW?”
(I have seen the charge for GGW before. I usually just use the abbreviation to spare the customer.))
Me: “Sir, GGW stands for Girls Gone–”
Customer: “Oh yeah. Never mind I remember now…uh…bye.” *click*

Santa Baby

Daycare | United Kingdom
(I am a supervisor in a daycare. It is Christmas Eve and a child’s mother has arrived to pick him up.)
Mother: “So, is it okay if I send in his presents with him tomorrow so he can open them here?”
Me: “Tomorrow? It’s Christmas Day tomorrow…we’ll be closed.”
Mother: “What? You’re closed tomorrow? But what am I supposed to do with my kid?”
Me: “Oh, do you have to work tomorrow? That’s unfortunate.”
Mother: “Work tomorrow? No, I booked it off a long time ago. Why are you closed tomorrow? You’re always open!”
Me: “Christmas Day is the only day we’re closed all year.”
Mother: “Well I don’t want him under my feet on Christmas!”
Me: “Um…”
Mother: “You don’t want to baby-sit, do you?”

Short-Sighted Fathers

Theme Park | Hershey, PA, USA
(A man and his son walks into the guest services office.)
Customer: “The rides person won’t let my son get on the pirate ship ride.”
Me: “Your son doesn’t appear to be tall enough. Will you have him stand by the height chart for me?”
(I measure the child and he is a good two inches shorter than the height requirement for the pirate ride.)
Me: “Sir, your son is not within the height category. He cannot legally ride the ride.”
Customer: “Well, can’t you just stamp his hand and let him get on since I said it was okay?”
Me: “No sir, that is illegal. Your son will not be safe on that ride as the restraints are not built for smaller riders. We do have a kid’s version of that ride.”
Customer: “I’m going to get my wife. She’s wearing heels today. He can just put those on and be tall enough.”
Me: “Any shoes that are more than two inches thick need to be removed before we can measure the child, so that won’t work.”
Son: “Daddy, why can’t we ride the rides?”
Customer: “Because that horrible lady thinks you’re a midget.”

Not Exactly The Pick Of The Litter, Part 2

Retail | NL, Canada
(One of my regulars comes to my cash with her small child. The mother is very much pregnant.)
Me: “Oh hello, [mother] and [daughter], how are you today?”
Customer: “We’re great!” *turns to daughter* “Tell [me] what Mommy is going to have in September!”
Customer’s daughter: “A baby!”
Me: “Really? What do you hope it’ll be?”
Customer’s Daughter: “A puppy!”

I hope that one is fake...

I know, thats just sad.

What was the answer to that question?

To go along with notalwaysright.com, I had a customer last weekend spend about 10 minutes telling me how vodka will go bad if it's left on the shelf for too long.

and in the line as Not Always Right, I really like Clients From Hell. Some real gems in there... :)







FM

I hope so as well, but I fear it is real. More sad than funny.

yeah i agree. just felt it deserved a posting like "holy shit"

bit of Engrish in that one, thought it was funny... :)

Unintended Entendres

Tech Support | Shenzhen, China
(I have just completed a firewall and Internet circuit install for an international customer. His English is far better than my Cantonese, but slang expressions didn’t always translate.)
Customer: “Thank you! You know, we were worried about having a female engineer, but now I see that they are better.”
Me: “Well, thank you, sir. I’m glad your Internet is up and running. We always try to do a good job.”
Customer: “You even cleaned the server room! Men never clean the server room. It looks very nice!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “I don’t think I have ever seen such a nice rack! Thank you!”

WIN!


Taking It Down To The Wire

Call Center | USA
Customer: “My computer says I didn’t pay my internet bill and it won’t let me do anything. I just paid my bill!”
Me: “Well, lets take a look and see what is happening with this.”
Customer: “I make my living off the internet! Hurry up!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid my records show that you don’t have internet as one of your services through this company.”
Customer: “I pay a lot of money every month for this d*** service! You need to fix this and fix this now! I have been a customer of yours for years!”
Me: “Can you please read me the message that is appearing on your computer monitor?”
(Customer reads me message.)
Me: “It appears that you indeed do not have internet service through us because the message you just read included someone else’s wireless account number. Ma’am, you are using someone else’s internet service.”
Customer: “Why did you shut me off then?”
Me: “We didn’t shut you off. We shut off someone else’s account for a delinquent balance and that was the account that you were stealing internet from.”
Customer: “Well, just turn it back on then. I need my internet.”
Me: “I can turn it back on in one of two ways. One: you pay for your own internet. Two: you pay for your neighbors internet to be turned back on so you can continue using something you aren’t supposed to be.”
Customer: *hangs up*



FM