This took a turn


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Also I'm concerned that a thread about my love life has turned towards Dahmer.

Are you all trying to tell me something?

Also I would like to mention that this thread is one year old now.

We agreed to a trivia night two weeks from now. So don't let it ever be said I don't listen to you guys.

You're going to have to eat her one way or another.

She did invite to a Farmer's Market tomorrow. And I'm sure there's a very clever joke that ties in to your post but I can't think of it.


But on a more personal/serious note, is it good or bad that I looked up a video on the proper way of eating a woman?

Was Bryant McKinnie in it?

clapclapclap

You're going to want to be really careful with the way you word that for Mr Google. lol

Ok, you're gonna want to remember to delete your browser and search history before she sets foot in your place. Just to be on the safe side.

Oh definitely, I was going to do that Friday. 20 years of Bachelor life would probably scare many a women.

I'm glad to hear that thanks are working out with Amber, because this...THIS...


...this is not how it works.

So wait, you googled how to orally please a woman?

I preferred to Ask Jeeves.

Baby I'll clean the bathrooms works.

Had to look it up. It's ask.com now. Currently #8 with aol.com (!) at #6.

The Top 10 Search Engines Today

Ha!

Clearly he hasn't seen the right movie, or he'd know the right method is the Tongue Tornado

Speaking of which, if it has been 20 years since you've had a female visit your place, you'd better take some time to clean bathrooms properly before she arrives. It's their number-one (and number-two, if necessary) test. Clean towels with no logos.

Then a thorough check of every room for any other sign of career bachelorhood (beer bottle collections, stacks of pizza boxes, etc). It's just like babyproofing when your baby first shows signs of being able to crawl, in that you're viewing your home from a different perspective.

Probably too late for a run to the furniture store, but if there's anything like deck chairs in front of the television, you might want to take emergency action.

Dahmer grew up in Bath (high-income suburb town north of Akron). I didn't know that until I moved out here - strange how Ohioans seem almost proud of this. I'm not sure I'd joke about that until the second date, though.

I’m guessing she’s going to drug him then rob him.

It's all about the clitoris. Explore, and most of all, listen. They tell you what feels good. :)

lol this thread is great

If I don't post anything by monday morning then come after me.

You? We're coming for what's left!

How much is the going rate for a kidney? Has it gone up due to inflation?

It's only a few thousand for most kidney donors, who are overseas. The going rate is $100,000 - $200,000 for a black market transplant

Sorry FOFC, you're not getting my organs this week.

Did she get your organ?

She did get a lot of my tongue.

did your research pay off?

I'll just say that I got a double or triple yesterday instead of a home run and leave it at that.

And here I am stuck bunting.

I get 1 AB a week and after 15 years of marriage consider that a lot of playing time.

HA! This thread continues to deliver.

How's your average?

so NOW nobodyhere wants to play coy? riiiigggggghttt

I want to maintain *some* privacy in my life after all.

If you want to complain then post your notices on other peoples mailboxes.

Depends on how much I have drank

I want full statistical breakdown

Wow, a little taste of the nookie, and now NobodyHere is ready to return the receipts!

Well. Lets see- before children when we were younger it was probably 3 times a week. Our son was born after 2.5 years of marriage, so 120 week =360 times. The year after our kid was born was, infrequent, lets say every other week, so 26 times. After tat we tried for a second and had to do it almost every other day. Obviously have to account for travel, periods (not into vampire fantasy), etc..It took another 2 years, so lets say 3X a week =312 times. The year after kid 2 was born things obviously slow again, so lets say another 26 times. That brings us to 6.5 years. So we have another 8.5 years, 102 months, 408 weeks, so averaging once a week would be 408 more times. That makes a grand total of 1132 times wife and I have had sex.

So if say 5% of the time I am too shitty either to perform, I pass out, or she is like, dude, get off me, thats 57 times I have "struck out"

Are you listening to this Jim? This could be the start of your next simulation hit!

Which means it would take a virgin having sex every day for 3 years, 1 month, and 1 week to equal Lathum +wife's numbers

I still just spend a lot of time in the cage like I always have.

You could be useful in the future.

That sounds horrible....

To keep it simple, it used to be 2/3s now it's 1/3.

Only if I get traded.

I can 'safely' say that in nearly 24 years of being together that we're well over 2000. Yes, our kids will need therapy, and yes, they've all heard us having sex. It's a bit of a running joke.

Huh? You guys are talking about second base and third base and all sorts of sample size abuses.

That's baseball. Red Barber died thirty years ago. There's nothing left to be said.

Such a simple sport that you need all sorts of fancy graphics just to sit through one of those endless games. Just one dude trying to throw a ball past another dude. And apparently, once the numbers are crunched, the dude throwing the ball doesn't even have all that much to do with the outcome anyway.

The game engine wouldn't require a thousand lines of code. Spare me.