Schizophrenic would like to take you up on your offer.

Wow...that one was close, but the end is the same, with the Chief standing over a destroyed lesser foe.

I will take my share of rehabilitation with the slavegirls in the house of Pain Unlimited and return to action stronger than ever.

Relish your two weeks of freedom, all you lowly fighters. For that time, but for your own pointless conflicts, you are all certain to live. After that, though, I, your ultimate fate, returns to the ring.

The Chief

Bah, I tire of waiting for the Rank 2 cowards to accept my open challenge. I'll warm up with Pilot if he dares set foot in the pit with me.

Qwikshot, assuming you are able to escape your next battle I still look forward to separating you from your entrails.

This is great if I beat the computer guy, I've ticked off Hoopsguy and Split...at least I got battles if I survive!!!

RH: Mick Vicious and I are showing as unscheduled, but I believe we agreed to a fight if we were put in different houses.

How dare you disrespect me by shortening my first name! Your head will be a welcome addition to my wall!!!

Well, technically it would be the first head... BUT IT'LL BE A WELCOME ADDITION NEVERTHELESS!!!!

You two have been added to Thursday's card. :D

Chief - I need for you declare your training style (unless I missed it earlier in the thread) Styles are stackable if you like. Aggressive, Defensive, Misdirection, and Normal are your choices.

Dear Muck Viscous:

I sincerely apologize for messing up your name. Consider it good practice for you. Next Thursday I will be messing up more than just your name.

GB II

I accept your challenge Schizophrenic and you will fall to my blade quite swiftly.

You're on! Pilot the Savage would be glad to finally be the one to silence Hornsmaniac.

Enough of this waiting, I want the Peon!

Gunther GoBoom think Thunderdome too quiet today.

Gunther play loud music. Wake everybody up.

Gunther play Celine Dion. Turn up to 11.

Gunther like her voice. Sound like butter.

Weapons Selection For Week 5:

Blade (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Lead Pipe, Axe, Crowbar, Chainsaw
Analysis: Neither of the Rank 1 fighters are able to get a lucky draw. On the other hand, neither of them got an unlucky draw either. Blades skilled in, you guessed it, the longsword. Mucius is skilled in the use of the spear. This match will probably go off around 1:1 depending on how the fighters look in the paddocks.

MC² (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Warhammer, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Another even draw as Raven Hawk's machete is nowhere to be found and neither is MC's axe. MC will go off as a slight favorite in this match due to his newly acquired defensive skill. The early line in 5:4 in favor of MC.

King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Machete, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe
Analysis: For once Fattoe does not get lucky in the weapons draw. His rapier did not show up for him this time. King II, however, is drooling over the prospect of a warhammer in the ring. What this really serves to do is even out the match. Fattoe will use his style specializations to try to outmaneuver King and his warhammer of death. Early line says 3:2 in favor of Fattoe.

Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Longsword, Spear, Knife, Longsword
Analysis: This will be fun battle to watch as both fighters are Rank 2. Both are experts with the Longsword and there are two of them in the ring for this match. Split will hope that his armor holds and Little Jeebie Dee hopes that he can anticipate Split's attacks well enough to land blows before Split can strike. Early line puts this at 1:1.

Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)
Weapons: Rapier, Chainsaw, Knife, Longsword
Analysis: Although Qwikshot didn't get his machete in this match, he can consider himself a lucky man today . . . maybe not tomorrow, but today he can. This is the best situation he could hope for. Since both men are proficient with the machete, a machete draw would have been moot. However, it is lucky for Qwik that neither of Calaleus' other two weapons showed up. With that said, Qwik will use his defensive skill to avoid blows from Calaleus and do the best he can to counter with the weapons at hand. The early line is 4:3 in favor of Qwikshot.

With a name like "Raven Hawk", you know the slave is actually the favorite.

Big Billy Badass accepts your accepting.

You're going to be crying for Colonial Mustard before it is all said and done, Professor!

Little Larry Lardass looks on lovingly.

Just a quick note to everybody. Thunderdome will be getting a little later start today as it has been busy for me at work. I hope to get it going by 1:00 CST. Possibly sooner if I can manage it.

Thanks,

Management

Fine with me. I'll just kill kittens every hour until you start.

In which case, kittens will be the only thing you'll be killing today.

I hate to start somewhere.

I mean, have. I have to start somewhere.

Did Sterlingice and my match gets postponed till next week?

Your match is scheduled for Thursday (next week game time).

With that said . . .

IT'S TIME FOR THUNDERDOME!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

First on the docket. Blade vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola

Blade (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 1, Bl
 

Blade (Rank 1, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Lead Pipe, Axe, Crowbar, Chainsaw

Blade is first to enter the paddocks and he looks like he is in pretty good condition. Following close behind is Mucius who looks to be in fabulous shape. The bookies think this one is going to be over quick and have Mucius as the slight favorite. The two men are walked to the arena where they travel to their respective corners. The host gives the signal . . . ."BEGIN!" Blade breaks for the crowbar and Mucius breaks for the chainsaw . . .

Mucius gets to the chainsaw first and gives the cord a tug. The chainsaw starts and begins its trademark purring. Blade grabs the crowbar and heads toward Mucius. Mucius steps to the side of a charging Blade and swings the chainsaw. Blade barely gets his crowbar up in time and his head stays attached to his body for the time being. Mucius returns a swing with the hooked end of the crowbar . . .

And he hits Blade in the right arm and the crowbar traps Mucius' forearm. The resulting gash opened on Mucius' are begins bleeding. Blade yanks on the crowbar, but Mucius rolls with the pull, stepping into it and still manages to hold onto the idling chainsaw. Mucius attempts to give the crowbar another tug, but this time Mucius not only follows the pulling motion, but he also revs the chainsaw and stabs it into Blade's chest. Blade backs away and releases his grip on the crowbar as the chainsaw bites into his chest.

The crowd roars as the chainsaw sprays blood everywhere. Blade looks for another weapon. He spots the lead pipe not too far away and breaks for it. Mucius chases with the chainsaw and can't quite get enough reach, missing Blade by an inch or two. Blade attempts to pick up the lead pipe as Mucius swings again. Blade grabs the lead pipe and gets it into a blocking position, but the chainsaw averts the block and strikes Blade in the thigh. Blade's leg goes limp and he topples to the ground.

Mucius moves in for the kill, but Blade is still strong enough to fight off the attack. Blade swings weekly at Mucius' ankle, but his aim is a little off and he misses his mark. The lead pipe hits Mucius above the ankle. Other than causing Mucius to jump a little, the impact has no effect. Blade just won't give up! Mucius swings, but Blade is quicker. He hits Mucius in his chainsaw arm again . . .

The impact isn't too hard, but it connects with Mucius' first wound causing the chainsaw to fall out of his hand! Mucius backs off for a moment. Blade gets his bleeding leg under him, but can't muster enough strength to chase Mucius around the arena. Mucius picks up the axe and returns to the bleeding Blade. Blade is ready for Mucius and swings and Mucius parries with the axe. Mucius' return attack is parried by Blade. The crowd begins to chant!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Blade is getting short on breath and he needs to get a victory quick if he wants any chance at survival. Lacking the energy to do anything else, Blade fings the lead pipe at Mucius' head! Mucius ducks. Mucius attacks with the axe and this time drives the axehead deep into Blade's shoulder, breaking his collarbone and cleaving into his lungs.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Blade falls to the ground, cloven by a heavy axe head. Mucius leaves the axe where it lay and walks to the tunnel, seeking immediate medical attention.

Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Demetrius Cavish collects the $12,000 purse and buys Mucius a shoulder guard. Four Fingered Flynn winces as he can hear the death knell of his house start to sound . . .

Next up: MC² vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk

MC² (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Purse: $18,000

Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Warhammer, Lead Pipe

MC² is the first of the two warriors to enter the ring. He is in the best shape of his life. Raven Hawk will have a tough task to take down this foe. Raven Hawk enters the arena in good shape, but not as good as MC². The oddsmakers keep the odds at 5:4 in favor of MC². The two men are hearded into the arena and they go to their respective corners. The host takes the microphone and makes the familiar call . . . "BEGIN!" MC² heads for the lead pipe; Raven Hawk heads for the warhammer . . .

The two men easily get to their weapons and pick them up. As they close the distance, Raven Hawk is the first to strike, using the length of the warhammer to his advantage. Crack! A full side swing hits MC², sending him backwards and onto his ass. The stunned fighter looks up in horror as Raven Hawk comes in to finish the fight off early.

MC² attempts to get up, but Raven Hawk maneuvers around to prevent MC² from getting his feet under him. Raven Hawk swings the heavy warhammer at MC² again, but MC² is able to evade. MC² begins to cough up blood as he attempts to get on his feet again. This time he is successful and gets himself into a defensive stance. Raven Hawk swings the mighty hammer . . .

But MC² uses his training to easily evade the hammer head. MC² finally gets a chance to strike back. But can't get a good shot off. Raven Hawk easily blocks the lead pipe. Still fighting defensively, MC² takes a hesitant swing at Raven Hawk, but misses. Raven Hawk swings again . . .

And plays tee-ball with MC²'s head. The head flies into the stands and the a lucky fan has a souvenir to take home. Raven "The Imposter" Hawk looks to the stands and proclaims that he is not worthy of bearing such a noble name. Raven Hawk looks down from his box seat and nods in agreement.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Raven Hawk is promoted to Rank 2 and recieves 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $18,000 purse and teaches Raven Hawk how to better anticipate the attacks of his enemies. Flynn is getting nervous . . .

Welcome to intermission. Here's the rest of today's card:

Undercard 2($25,000): King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Undercard 1($25,000): Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)
Main Event($34,000): Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)

I'll be back in a bit!

Guess it's up to me to help Four Fingers...

King II (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Machete, Axe, Warhammer, Lead Pipe

As the two men enter the paddocks, you really can't see any significant difference in their forms. Fattoe has the experience to make this a quick fight, but King II has his weapon in the ring. The line stays the same at 3:2 in favor of Fattoe. Today's guest host is Chevy Chase. The two men are led into the ring. Chevy trips on his way up to the microphone, taps it, "Is this thing on?" . . . "BE!" . . . The fighters take a step then stop. "BE!" . . . The fighters balk again. "BEGIN!" Both men head for the warhammer.

Fattoe gets to the warhammer first and he has King II dead to rights. King II pivots and heads for the lead pipe as Fattoe swings! The warhammer barely grazes King II and King II makes it over to the lead pipe. But Fattoe gets another shot off as King II tries to pick up his weapon . . .

And connects! Fattoe's hammer crushes into King II's back sending King II sprawling to the ground with lead pipe in hand. Fattoe swings aggressively trying to end the match quickly and connects, but barely scrapes the dodging King II. King II swings back and Fattoe takes the opportunity to smack the lead pipe out of King II's hand. King II begins to cough up blood . . .

Fattoe stands over the prone, weaponless King II and brings the hammer down. King II rolls out of the way and stands up, right next to the axe. He picks up the axe and readies himself. Fattoe saunters into range and attacks King II but he can't connect. King II is doing everything that he can do to avoid the blows of Fattoe.

King II, sensing his life is near its end, charges Fattoe, swinging wildly. The cornered bear tactic works as he delivers a blow to Fattoe's midsection. Fattoe, doubles over in pain and can't retaliate. The blood pours heavily out of the enormous axe wound in Fattoe's belly. King II continues coughing up blood.

Fattoe, the veteran fighter, finds the energy to swing again, but is too weak to land a blow. King II returns a weak swing at Fattoe, but still gets enough momentum behind it to bury the axe in Fattoe's leg. King II coughs up blood. Fattoe bleeds profusely. Both men are lifting their weapons in defiance of their own bodies. Both men swing . . .

But it is Fattoe that connects, crushing the skull of King II. King II collapses to the ground, dead. Fattoe collapses to the ground, barely alive. The medical staff runs out into the arena to see if they can salvage the life of the winning fighter. Fattoe's world goes black.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Fattoe wakes up one week later in the hospital. He'll need another three weeks to fully heal. Fattoe will not be able to fight until the season finale in Week 10. Fattoe remembers seeing a white light that he was compelled to head towards, but for some reason he didn't go there.

Fattoe the Smashifier is promoted to Rank 4 and recieves 1 prestige point. When he is healthy enough, he will be trained in another fighting style. Torbjorg collects the $25,000 purse.

How you doing, mckerney?

Next up: Split Peon the First vs. Little Jeebie Dee

Split Peon the First (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 2, Malice Unchained)

Purse: $25,000

Weapons: Longsword, Spear, Knife, Longsword

In the paddocks before the match, both men pace anxiously. Split Peon looks to be in much better shape than Little Jeebie Dee. The oddsmakers and the fans begin to bet heavily on Split Peon the First. As the windows close, Split Peon goes off as a 2:1 favorite. The fighters are led to their corners and Chevy Chase makes the call . . . "BEGIN!" both men head for opposite longswords . . .

Both men grab their swords and begin circling defensively in the center of the ring. Little Jeebie is the first to attack. He sees Split Peon shift to the left and moves in for the strike. In the name of all that is good and holy! Little Jeebie Dee steps in and strikes Split Peon in stomach. The thrust catches Split Peon by surprise. Split Peon is impaled on Little Jeebie's sword!

Hoping to make it a quick end to his adversary, Little Jeebie yanks the sword out and swings at Split Peon's head. This time he lands a light blow on Split Peon's armor. Split Peon manages to retaliate but is bleeding profusely from his stomach wound. Split Peon attempts to swing again . . .

But, Little Jeebie Dee just slaps Split's sword to the side. Jeebie thrusts his longsword at his foe yet again, opening up a wound in his arm. Split Peon staggers and his vision begins to go fuzzy as he tries to keep his entrails inside of himself. Jeebie swings again, but can't penetrate Split's armor. Split retaliates, but he has no energy. Split continues bleeding . . .

Little Jeebie backs up for a moment to watch his opponent suffer. Split's only way out is to make a spirited charge and pray for the best. He charges, but Jeebie evades. Split collapses on the ground from the loss of blood.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Little Jeebie Dee is quick and merciful as he skillfully wields the longsword. It takes only a moment for him to bring it down on Split Peon's neck and sever the head from the body. The crowd cheers. Jeebie heads for the tunnel daydreaming about how drunk he would get tonight.

Little Jeebie Dee is promoted to Rank 3 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $25,000 purse and trains Little Jeebie Dee further in the art of anticipating his opponents attacks. Little Jeebie Dee was not injured during the fight and can fight again at his leisure.

Next up: The main event.

Qwikshot vs. Calaleus

Can Qwikshot single handedly save The House of Four Fingers?

Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)

Purse: $34,000

Weapons: Rapier, Chainsaw, Knife, Longsword

Four Fingered Flynn nervously chomped on his finger nails. Qwikshot was the only chance he had of avoiding financial ruin. Flynn was worried specifically because his fighter was going up against a higher ranked fighter. Even though Qwikshot got a good weapons draw, Flynn knew that Qwik would have to be in excellent form if he was to win the match against Calaleus. As the two fighters came out onto the paddocks, Flynn was relieved to see that his fighter was in much better shape. The oddsmakers took their notes and adjusted their odds to 3:2 in favor of Qwikshot. And we know that the oddsmakers have been in rare form today . . .

The two men are led into the arena amongst the pomp and fanfare that suits the occasion. Various flares go off in the corners of the arena. The Thunderdome Girls dance about the arena scantily clad. Chevy Chase steps up to the microphone and gives the call . . . "BEGIN!" Qwik heads for the rapier, Calaleus heads for the chainsaw . . .

Both men reach their weapons in a timely fashion. Qwikshot picks up the rapier and charges Calaleus while Calaleus tries to start the chainsaw. Calaleus gives the cord a tug and the chainsaw lets out a low low rumble. It stops. It starts rumbling again. It stops. It starts rumbling. Calaleus squeezes the trigger giving it some gas and the chainsaw begins idling properly.

Wow, little Jeebie was pretty expeditive in that fight...

As Qwik enters the chainsaw's attack arc, Calaleus takes a swing. Qwik easily parries the shot aside, but cannot return an accurate shot, missing by at least a foot. Calaleus attacks again and Qwik's defensive skills appear to be in good form as he parries the chainsaw again. Qwik returns a much more accurate shot this time . . .

And pokes Calaleus in the leg with the rapier. The blade goes in an inch before Qwik pulls it out and into a defensive position. He quickly strikes again, but Calaleus avoids the blow. Calaleus swings the chainsaw defensively, but Qwik's defensive skill is just too much. Qwik parries once again.

Calaleus reverts to a standard technique as he moves back in to attack Qwik. Calaleus' furious blow is met by Qwik's dancing rapier and turned aside. Once again, however, Qwik can't return an accurate shot and misses his opponent with the first of two following strikes. The second strike lands and opens a small wound on Calaleus. Calaleus swings wildly again, but over-rotates, leaving his back exposed to Qwik.

Qwik can't capitalize, trying to strike straight for Calaleus' heart. Calaleus swings back around and into a defensive position. The two men exchange parries again. Flynn looks on nervously. Qwikshot moves into a defensive position. As Calaleus attacks, Qwik intercepts the attack and cuts at open Calaleus' left arm.

Calaleus counters with a quick stab with the biting teeth of the chainsaw. Qwik is on top of his game though and parries yet another shot from Calaleus. As Qwikshot parries, he slides the blade up Calaleus' right arm and opens a small cut. Calaleus starts to feel a little light headed and charges Qwikshot. Qwik attempts to intercept, but he can't. With a heavy swing Calaleus attempts to turn the match . . .

But he loses his grip on the chainsaw. It tumbles out of his hand and flies to the ground. Qwikshot decides to move himself between his foe and the chainsaw. Calaleus looks for a new weapon and finds the knife in close proximity. He grabs for it.

With lightning speed, Calaleus picks up the weapon and strikes out at Qwikshot. Qwik is equal to the task and parries the blade harmlessly away. The knife seems to be just enough for Calaleus alive as he parries away three consecutive thrusts from his opponent. Qwikshot, won't let Calaleus get through his guard either.

Qwikshot opens up another nick on his opponent and parries the returning blow. Another attack and another small wound opens up on Calaleus, this time on his cheek. Calaleus' uses Qwik's frustration against him. In a moment of opportunity, Calaleus throws the knife at Qwik and it sticks in his stomach.

Calaleus takes off for the longsword and Qwikshot is too stunned to follow him. Qwik groans as he pulls the knife out of his stomach. Calaleus gets to the longsword picks it up. He looks to have a second wind as Qwikshot charges uncontrolably.

The two exchange parries again. The crowd cheers. Flynn winces. Qwikshot stabs hard at Calaleus' chest. Calaleus attempts to move, but his body isn't as quick as his mind anymore. The rapier goes straight through his chest and sticks out the other side.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Qwikshot has been promoted to Rank 3 and receives 3 prestige points. Flynn happily collects the $34,000 purse and proceeds immediately to the loan shark's office to pay off some debts. Afterwards, he trains the only fighter left in his house how to better defend himself. Qwikshot will be out for 1 week with his knife wound and will be able to fight again in week 7 if he wishes.

Here is our Hall of Fodder. The list grows each week! :D

SlaveName	Rank	Slayer	DeathThroe	House Name
Calaleus	3	Qwikshot	Skewered through lung	House Corax
Split Peon the First	2	Little Jeebie Dee	Impaled and Beheaded	Bloodhaus
MC²	2	Raven Hawk	Got hammered	The House of Four Fingers
Rizarro	2	JAGus "Mad" MAXimus	Didn't See the Crowbar Coming	The House of Four Fingers
Hokius Maximus	2	Big Bad	Crushed Head & Chest	House Corax
Godzillius Blitz	2	Calaleus	Axehead in the head	Bloodhaus
Ajtuck	1	Godzillius Blitz	Crushed Windpipe and Suffocation	House Corax
The Hunter	1	JAGus "Mad" MAXimus	New Entrée: Shishka-heart	The House of Four Fingers
Thickthumbs the Violent Tempered	1	Rizarro	Machete Embedded in Skull	Pain Unlimited
Myrdrimor	1	Calaleus	Lost his Head to an Axe	The House of Four Fingers
Coffee Warlord	1	Qwikshot	Lost his Head to a Machete	Bloodhaus
Jeeberus Dee	1	MC²	Neck/Axe Incompatability Issues	House Corax
HellAntic	1	Split Peon the First	Lost his Head to a Machete	The House of Four Fingers
King II	1	Fattoe the Smashifier	New "flat-top" skull adjustment	Bloodhaus
Sinister Vibes	1	The Chief	Axe Embedded in Chest	Bloodhaus
Kingfc22	1	Fattoe the Smashifier	Brained by Lead Pipe	Bloodhaus
Gaius Julius Vincius	1	Fattoe the Smashifier	Severed Artery in Leg	Bloodhaus
Flatulon	1	Little Jeebie Dee	Longsword Caught in Neck	Pain Unlimited
Blade	1	Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola	Axehead to heart via collarbone	The House of Four Fingers
Dr. Fantastic	1	Gunther GoBoom	Chainsaw bit him in the chest	Malice Unchained
Ca$h Money	1	Love Hurts	Bloodloss to Bloodhaus	Malice Unchained
Pilot the Cruel	1	Froggius	Stabbed in the Chest w/Crowbar	House Corax
Revile the Revolting	1	Erik Flamebeard (of the neither her nor there)	Erik Smash Head	Bloodhaus
Blade6119	1	The Chief	It Was His Destiny	The House of Four Fingers
DeToxusRoxus	1	Hokius Maximus	Cut in Twain by Chainsaw	The House of Four Fingers

Feel free to sign up for Friday's auction block.

Great stuff.

Current Season Standings:

House Name	W	L	Win %	Cash
Pain Unlimited	8	2	0.800	$69,000.00
Malice Unchained	6	2	0.750	$50,500.00
House Corax	3	5	0.375	$10,000.00
Bloodhaus	4	8	0.333	$25,500.00
The House of Four Fingers	4	8	0.333	$33,500.00

Page 1 updated.

Pain Unlimited rocks da House!

When is it my turn to fight?

Little man give Fattoe fight. Can see toenails gurgling in stomach. Heh.

Muahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Who is next to die at the hands of the youngest Dee brother?

I think you will find that Love conquers all. Love Hurts plans on eliminating the Dee family tree starting with the easiest one first.

RealDeal,

You need to challenge/accept a challenge from an opponent to get the match scheduled. Check out the first page and find somebody who isn't scheduled and challenge them. I'd recommend not going after the Rank 3 and Rank 4 opponents for your first fight.

Sorry about the confusion.

I challenge everybody. Come on, mother fuckers, you don't have what it takes to withstand the Real Deal.

Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola would be happy to end the Real Deal's life prematurely. Alea ayate es!

On a side note, didn't we have quite a rivalry going as wide receivers at some point?

Name: Tony Harding
Weapon of choice: Lead Pipe (of course)
Preffered House: any but Malice Unchained

Open challenge: rank 1 or 2

Lol! I do believe that the Lead Pipe would be appropriate. :)

Big Bad sits alone, his wound still seeping and festering. Dirt covers his skin and the lice are almost visibly crawling in what little remains of his hair. A grotesque smile is spread across his face as he stares down at the individual twigs that he grasps in each hand.

"BIG BAD SMASH!"

With that, the twig in his left hand soundly thwacks the one in his right, nearly splitting it in two.

"BIG BAD ENTER, BIG BAD LEAVE!"

The twig in his right hand swings at the left, missing pathetically of course, then falls to the ground as Big Bad lets it go. His left hand moves it's twig over the fallen one.

"WARHAMMER SMASH!"

His left hand mashes into the ground, enveloping both twigs, then proceeds to basically squish both twigs into the ground. When he lifts his hands, both twigs are shattered and broken, yet the satisfied smile never waivers.

"Jagus enter, Jagus die"

Be still my beating heart. Yowza!

:D

"Well Flynn, it's getting quite quiet round here.."

"Just be sure to evade, anticipate the movements..."

I think I have a line of people for my blood, Hoopsguy and the Split...out one week to recuperate then time to spend learning how to obliterate...

Challenge accepted, fool...

Name: King III
Weapon of choice: Warhammer


I accept this open challenge.

Hey wasn't there supposed to be a weapons draw today?

Yeah, sorry. I was finishing up my submission for WSUCougar's essay contest. I'll do the weapons draw later tonight.

Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete
Analysis - Neither fighter drew their weapon. Parvus Caesar favors the knife and Bladed Death favors the Rapier. You probably won't be able to find a fairer fight. The weapons don't matter, but their form will matter. Both men are training vigorously to get into shape for the match. Oddsmakers say 1:1.

Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Knife, Claymore, Lead Pipe, Knife
Analysis - Once again neither opponent got lucky in the draw. However, Godzillius can take more hits. It will be interesting to see if either of the fighters go for the claymore, which is the only weapon that has any range in the group. The fight stands currently at 4:3 in favor of Godzillius.

Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains
Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther.

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Rapier, Rapier, Machete, Axe
Analysis - Once again, neither man has drawn their weapon. The will be a knock down drag out fight between two decent fighters. Froggius will attempt to use his aggressive style to penetrate Erik's defense and Erik will try to anticipate Froggius' actions and intercept those attacks. Current odds are 1:1.

Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Warhammer, Chainsaw, Warhammer, Spiked Club
Analysis - You'd think that JAGus would be lucky in getting his chainsaw in his third straight match. However, Big Bad is even luckier today. Big Bad finds two of his warhammers in the ring for the fight . . . and he'll need them. Both men will be coming in with injuries and Big Bad is worse for wear than JAGus. This should be a quick match for the victor. Current odds are 3:2 in favor of JAGus "mAd" MAXimus.

Erik....Slash?

Hey Big Bad! Erik needs you to throw one of your warhammers into his match. Erik must smash, not slash!

You only need one hammer to smash. You have two, Erik has none. Give Erik one.

Looks like we both had bad luck already. I think "fair fight" is RH-speak for "they both suck". Stay tuned to see which bad luck wins out ;)

SI

Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains
Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther.


Gunther mad at stupid draw.

Gunther need chainsaw.

Gunther want to stick chainsaw in Winstorm's face.

That's not far from the truth. :)

I'm going to get started here in a minute, but I wanted to warn people that it will take a little longer to post the matches today as I am "live simming" instead of posting something that I simmed last night.

Everybody get ready for the THUNDERDOME!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Here's today's card:

Undercard 4($12,000): Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Undercard 3($12,000): Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus)
Undercard 2($18,000) : Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Undercard 1($25,000) : Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Main Event($35,000): Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited)

Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)

Purse: $12,000

Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete

Parvus Caesar is the first to trot out to the paddocks and he looks to be in pretty good shape. When Bladed Death appears on the stage, he looks to be in just as good shape. This match has the potential of being an epic length battle, since neither man is in much better shape than the other and neither man has any skill in the weapons that will be in the arena. The odds go off at 1:1. The men are led to the arena and they are taken to their corners. The host takes the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" Parvus heads for the lead pipe, Bladed Death heads for the Machete . . .

Parvus is the first to get to his weapon and picks up. He charges Bladed Death, but the bladed one is quick to get his machete up for a block. Parvus continues attacking aggressively, and Bladed Death is using a standard fighting style. Bladed Death's first swing lands short of its mark. Parvus Caesar takes a wide, powerful swing . . .

And catches the tip on Bladed Death's head. Bladed Death grabs his head in pain, but can continue fighting. Bladed Death returns with an overhead machete strike, but Parvus easilyt parries the blow to the side. Parvus' counterstrike is not effective either as Bladed Death turns his strike to the side as well.

Both men adopt normal fighting stances and continue the fight. Parvus strikes low at Bladed Death's knees, but hits his thigh instead with minimal effectiveness. Bladed Death is looking awkward with the machete, often trying to thrust with it instead of using a chopping motion. Blade Death thrusts the machete at Parvus Caesar and Parvus easily blocks. Parvus strikes out again with the lead pipe . . .

And cracks Bladed Death in the skull. Bladed Death goes down to the dirt unconscious.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Parvus Caesar steps over the body of Bladed Death and lines up the death blow. Raising the lead pipe high to the sky, Parvus brings it down hard on Bladed Death's skull. The resounding thud echoes through the stadium and the crowd goes wild. Parvus stands up and bows before exiting the arena.

Parvus Caesar is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg picks up the $12,000 purse and offers to teach Parvus Caesar one of the fighting styles. Parvus was not injured in the fight, and will be able to fight again at his own leisure.