Originally Posted by Poz!
Seeing Seagulls by the Lakeshore*
The Kansas City Royals lost Thursday night when the game-winning hit bounced off a seagull.
Now, that sentence — as marvelously constructed as it may be — is a bit misleading. The Royals were going to lose anyway Thursday night. They really lost when, up two-runs in the eighth, they committed two errors on what looked like a double-play grounder to first and when closer Joakim Soria left a curveball up to Cleveland’s Jhonny Peralta. They really lost when reliever Kyle Farnsworth … well, do you really need to say more than that? Kyle Farnsworth is an absolutely remarkable pitcher. For the last month and a half, he has been placed into low-pressure situations and he has been virtually unhittable. League hit .148 against him! Strikeout to walk ratio of 17-2! Zero earned runs!
As soon as the Royals put him into the game on Thursday — tie score, top of the 10th inning — he immediately turned back into Kyle Farnsworth.* A leadoff seeing-eye single. A walk. A line drive hit up the middle that bounced off a seagull and skipped past centerfielder Coco Crisp. Ballgame.
No, it wouldn’t have mattered — we all know Coco isn’t throwing anyone out at the plate.
But it does matter. Because, bottom line, the top-line sentence is accurate. The Royals lost when a ball hit a seagull. And it’s just last latest addition to the list of remarkable things I have had the chance to witness since arriving in Kansas City thirteen years ago.
I have seen a manager, in an effort to inspire his team, jump into a shower with his clothes on. I have seen another manager, in an effort to inspire his team, promise to smile more. That manager also believed his team had too many milk-drinkers, not enough tequila drinkers. I have seen two managers quit in the middle of the season and a third manager get told he was fired by the reporters who covered the team. I have seen a parade of pitching coaches fired, a handful of hitting coaches fired, a couple of bullpen coaches let go and numerous bench coaches reassigned.
I have seen a centerfielder race back to the wall, set himself, time his leap and … watch the ball land 10 feet in front of him on the warning track. The ball then bounced over his head for a ground-rule double — the umpires were so confused they initially called it a home run. The call was righted eventually but one of my favorite moments as a Royals observer was watching the Royals’ manager race out to argue the call. I could only imagine the exchange.
Manager: That ball landed on the warning track. How could you miss that?
Umpire: Because your centerfielder climbed the wall?
Manager: Uh, good point. Listen, I’ll go back to the dugout. You guys work it out.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of a player named Chip Ambres, who played in only 53 games with Kansas City, but managed in that short period of time to make team history TWICE. Ambres made his first appearance for the Royals on July 20. Eight days later, on July 28, he hit his first big league home run. The Royals lost that game to Tampa 10-5 … and that was the first loss in what would become a 19-game losing streak.
Historic moment No. 1 happened on August 9th, when the Royals were leading Cleveland 7-2 going into the ninth inning. Mike MacDougal was the Royals closer then — or at least that’s what they called him — and he promptly gave up a double to Casey Blake, a double to Grady Sizemore, a single to Coco Crisp (Coco has seen the Kansas City thing from both sides now). That made it 7-4. After a strikeout, MacDougal gave up ANOTHER double to Travis Hafner. Victor Martinez singled. It was 7-5.
And then the real fun began. Ronnie Belliard popped up to short … but Angel Berroa dropped it. The Royals did get an out there on a play at second. So it was 7-6, but there were two outs.
And that’s when Jeff Liefer lifted a fly ball to Chip Ambres in left field. Anyone who heard the call by Royals announcer Denny Matthews will never forget it: “There’s a fly ball to left field and … he dropped it. Yes he did.” There was no doubt in Denny’s voice at all. The Indians ended up scoring 11 runs in the inning and winning the game.* That, incidentally, was lost No. 11 in a row for the Royals.
*Another highlight of that inning was when right fielder Emil Brown tried to kick the ball back into the infield. He was not quite successful.
Later, in historic moment No. 2 — just mentioned this the other day — Ambres (playing center) and left-fielder Terrence Long converged on a fly ball and then, each thinking the other would make the play, began jogging toward the dugout. The ball plopped down behind them. I remember going into the radio booth to ask Denny if he had ever seen anything like that before. He considered the question for a moment. And then he said: “Nope.”
Other stuff I’ve seen: I saw the Royals lose once when a pitcher, attempting to start an inning-ending double play, slipped on the rosin bag and threw the ball into centerfield. … I saw the Royals begin a game batting out of order. I mean, batting out of order is one thing, but the FIRST BATTER was out of order? … I saw a Royals baserunner literally fall off of first base on a pickoff attempt. He got back to the bag safely and then, almost in slow motion, he just fell off the base and was tagged out. … I saw the Royals lose a game when, with the bases loaded, a batter hit a ball back to Mike MacDougal. He threw home — literally. The ball had to be at least 5 feet over the catcher’s head. I remember it being 10 feet high. … I saw the Royals release a pitcher IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME … I saw a Royals prospect, with two runners in scoring position, look so frightened that, even though the opposing pitcher threw three batting practice fastballs right over the heart of the plate, he never even thought about swinging. … I saw the Royals try out a professional softball pitcher … I saw a Royals pitcher get hurt during spring training SLIDING practice (you might recall, the Royals are an American League club) … I saw Esteban German get hit in the face with a fly ball because (1) he was playing centerfield, (2) he’s not a centerfielder, (3) the sun was out and (4) he was not wearing his sunglasses. Fortunately, Esty was wearing his sunglasses on the flight home after the game so no one could see his shiner … I saw Tony Pena lose a ball in the sun because he wasn’t wearing sunglasses. After the game, Pena explained that he had ordered his sunglasses but “they had not come in yet.” … I saw Royals pitcher Miguel Asencio throw 16 consecutive balls to start off his major league career. … I saw the Royals draft the first high school pitcher who ever officially threw 100 mph. Apparently, nobody noticed that he did not throw strikes.
Of course, there’s the Ken Harvey oeuvre. Once, he lost a battle with a tarp. Once, as the cut-off man, he turned his back on an outfield throw and got hit in the back. Once he threw a baseball into his own pitcher’s face.*
*Harvey, you will note, was the Royals All-Star in 2004. He then played in 12 games for the Royals in 2005 and he hasn’t played a big league game since. A little while ago, he was released by the Kansas City T-Bones Independent league team.
There was the time a Royals pitcher complained because he could not get any no-decisions. … There was the time the Royals decided to call up a pitcher named Eduardo Villacis to pitch at Yankee Stadium because … well, no one knew. No one on the team had ever even heard of him. Villacis gave up 5 runs in 3 1/3 innings, walked four, struck out none, and the Royals sent him back down and then released him. He never again pitched in the big leagues. … There was the time a Royals outfield “accidentally” shot a television reporter with a pellet gun. … There was the time outfielder Mark Quinn finally walked after a long, long streak without walking. Someone set off fireworks at the stadium. … There was the time a pitcher, frustrated by a bad rehab start, broke his hand hitting a door. …
More. So much more. I’ve written about so many of these things again and again, but I cannot help it. Something bad happens and it all rushes back. This team, well, someday something good is going to happen for this team. Someday.
Tonight, though, they lost when a ball hit a seagull. Well, why not? Why the hell not?
*Alternate headline: I ran. I ran so far away. Couldn’t get away.
|
