Oh dear.

5-years-old. Decided it would be fun to run into the middle of a baseball game my older brothers and their friends were playing in the front yard. Even better, I decided to run in behind the batter ... as he was swinging. I got a nice faceful of aluminum. I think "all" I got was a broken nose.

In sixth grade, I learned the hard way that you should always wear your seatbelt. My face made a pretty nice dent in the dashboard.

My sister stuck her finger in the door jam when she was about 18 months and I was about 4. It was unbeknownst to me, but it took the tip right off. Luckily they were able to sew it back on, but it's her ring finger on her right hand. I'm sure she'll kill me on her wedding date.

One of mine was like this... I don't remember how old I was, but it was before grade 6 for sure. I was running, and looking up at the ball just over my head... I didn't see the corner of a fence in front of me, and slammed right into it (with my head up). I didn't break anything, but it hurt like hell.

A couple others:

1. I was in grade 2 or 3, it was lunch hour, and a friend was swinging a golf club we found. I have no idea how it happened, but I walked in front of one of his swings, and he smashed the club against my ankle. I fell to the ground in pain. But, being the trooper that I am, I tried to go back to school. About half-way walking, I fell down again and my ankle was swollen. I had help getting home, but it wasn't broken or anything... healed in a couple of days.

2. This happened a couple of years ago when I worked at A&W. I was slicing onions for onion rings using a knife (as the slicer was broken). I put my thumb too close to the knife, and sliced the top part of my skin off. Blood was pouring out, and I rushed to the sink. The manager on duty put some gauze, anti-bacterical stuff, and some plastic thing on top... but I finished my shift. Went to the hospital after, and the doctor said stitches weren't possible, and so it healed without help. I now have a bump on top of my thumb consisting of the skin that was cut off. Not very visible, but it's there as a reminder that I should never try to do anything involving food again. :)

Oh, another dumb one I remember. I was young (before grade 2 or 3 for sure), and was in the front seat of a friend's car for some reason. I picked that moment to find out what the lighter of a car really did... everytime I took it out, I was intrigued by the circles of the coil inside (I don't know why). When I put it back in, I noticed that it could be pressed in. So I did this. When it popped back out, I looked at the coils again and saw that they were red.... so I put my finger in and burned my finger fairly badly.

That was the day I found out that pickle juice and egg whites (or maybe it was yolks) can soothe a burned finger.

A friend of mines family was picking me up to spend the night at their house. I get in the car, for whatever reason i didnt shut the door, i'm just sitting there with my hand outside the car. His dad says "shut the door", I think he's talking to someone in the back seat (either my friend or his sister). He says "shut the door" about 4 more times, i'm just totaly blanking out, thinking he's yelling at one of his kids and trying to stay out of it. Finaly he reaches over me, grabs the door by the window and yanks it shut, closing it right on my hand. It hurt my hand alot, I looked like a giant douche, I couldn't even explain why I was ignoring him, I was just a tard.

I did ok playing football in my teens, but I should have never been alowed to play baseball as a little kid:

Playing backyard baseball at around the age of 7-8, its my turn to catch. Apparently I wasn't a very bright kid and didn't understand the reason one should have the proper distance from the batter. Took an aluminum bat to the eye. Nice thick shiner, dumb explanation to give the kids at school.

At the age of 9 was playing little league, playing right field(that should tell you something, although in my defense at least I wasn't a bench kid!) The field was pretty hard that day. A kid managed to hit a liner to right, some good volocity on the hit, it bounces up from the dirt and hits me square on the forehard, hard. I wake up a few seconds later lieing on the ground looking up at my coach and some other people, had the indentation on a baseball on my forehead for the next two days.

Thank god I quit baseball.

That reminds me of another one...

When I was around 8, my mom took me to a piano recital, where I was supposed to play. When we got out of the car, my mom started to close her door, and for some reason, I thought the door was still unlocked, so I instinctively - not unlike Brian Westbrook catching a 1-yard pass in the middle of the field at his own 5 yard line with 40 seconds remaining in the SB - stuck my hand in the door to lock it. Except it was already locked. And I didn't get my hand out in time.

Man, that sucked. There's nothing quite like having your hand smahsed ina car door, locked, while your mom fumbles for her keys. On the bright side, I didn't have to play piano that day. On the down side, I've still got a scar on my middle finger.

This one time, at band camp...

I'm not the only one :D
It's amazing how many ankles have been snapped / broken by B ball players. You're supposed to be out for 6-8 weeks, but after 2-3 weeks you're right back at it.

After reading some of these, mine seems pretty tame.

My freshman year of college, I was going to play some tennis with my roommate at one of the school gyms. The tennis net was something you had to set up yourself across a small section of basketball court. For some reason, the net was practically on the ground, so we each went to opposite ends of it to see what was wrong with it. So I'm examining the rolled up metal cord with a cable on the end very closely...when suddenly it unwinds really fast and the cable part smacks my left eye. I rolled around in pain for a little while, eventually went down to the infirmiry (only being able to see out of one eye, with stars blinding me in the other one) which then sent me to the emergency room where I sat a while, as there were some people were there with stab wounds from an incident that evening. In the end, I had a nice eye patch for a couple of days, a number of corneal scratches, a somewhat enhanced potential for glaucoma in the future, but fortunately no major permanent damage.

Here's my personal best.

Senior year of high school. I'm out with the rest of the track team, doing a long distance run through the neighborhoods, no big deal. One of our friends pulls up in a car, practicing for his driver's test. We hang out and talk to him for a while. He's talking out the window to one guy on the driver's side, I'm leaning on the passenger's side window, talking to another. He finishes his conversation and starts driving. He has no clue that I'm there. I think he's just screwing around and hold on, jogging alongside the car. At about thirty, thirty five MPH, I lose my grip. At this point, I'm thankful that my football coach taught me how to take a fall, as I threw up my arms and took it there instead of doing a faceplant on the asphalt. However, I managed to shatter my elbow rather nicely, which not only ruined my season and made it rather difficult to operate for the next few months, but it added insult to injury because I did it two days before the Senior Prom.

This, however, doesn't beat my friend who managed to dislocate his elbow while playing Rock-Paper-Scissors.

...And made it worse by, when retelling the story at a New Year's party six months later, he demonstrated what happened and dislocated his elbow AGAIN.

My bad.