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Suburban Rhythm 01-29-2014 11:34 AM

Teasing Over Vaginal Flatulence On School Bus Leads To Groin Attack

cartman 01-30-2014 10:14 AM

Alrighty then

Home invader penis-whips Miami woman in the face - UPI.com

cartman 01-31-2014 09:13 PM

My head hurts.

Pregnancy No Proof of Motherhood; Woman Was Her Own Twin-and the Twin Was the Mother of Her Children

cartman 02-13-2014 12:54 PM

Affidavit: Lago Vista police officer kicked, farted on co-worker | www.statesman.com

mckerney 02-14-2014 04:03 PM

AFP: Mass murderer Breivik to hunger strike for better video games

Chief Rum 02-14-2014 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mckerney (Post 2903242)


And people call us barbarians for having the death penalty.

Putting aside the idiocy of his charges against his prison here, here's a guy who willfully killed 77 people. And he will only serve 21 years. Good heavens.

EagleFan 02-14-2014 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum (Post 2903259)
And people call us barbarians for having the death penalty.

Putting aside the idocy of his charges against his prison here, here's a guy who willfully killed 77 people. And he will only serve 21 years. Good heavens.


That is unreal. About 100 days per murder... and he is complaining about conditions?!?!?!?!? Let him go on his hunger strike, hopefully he dies from starvation.

Shkspr 02-14-2014 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum (Post 2903259)
And people call us barbarians for having the death penalty.

Putting aside the idocy of his charges against his prison here, here's a guy who willfully killed 77 people. And he will only serve 21 years. Good heavens.


That's not the way the justice system works over there. He's basically got a life sentence, but after 21 years punishment (he could, but won't, be paroled after ten), they have a hearing every five years to see if he's rehabilitated. He ain't never passing that hearing.

cartman 02-16-2014 02:48 PM

Sexually Transmitted Food Poisoning is a real thing.

Sexually Transmitted Food Poisoning? A Fish Toxin Could Be To Blame : The Salt : NPR

AlexB 02-17-2014 11:39 AM

Not much of a story, just a slam-dunk for a headline writer

Sewer was blocked by large Pooh

Or apparently not - only listed as above on the BBC front page: the story itself went with a bland overview.

Lathum 02-19-2014 12:17 PM

Crew member accused of attacking cruise passenger - CNN.com

Lathum 02-19-2014 12:22 PM

WTF is wrong with Kansas lately?

Spanking bill in Kansas sparks controversy – CNN Political Ticker - CNN.com Blogs

JonInMiddleGA 02-19-2014 09:28 PM

Packs of wild Chihuahuas terrorizing city | www.ajc.com

Silver Owl 02-20-2014 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cartman (Post 2841193)


I was raised in the hills of Kentucky and our toilet was an outhouse so this was a very real fear of mine.:(

QuikSand 02-26-2014 09:10 AM

I know we have/had a thread here on fake news stories being incorrectly taken as true... quick search couldn't find that so here's a nice one from Maryland politics:

Annapolis police chief apologizes for citing hoax story in testimony against marijuana legalization - CapitalGazette.com: Under The Dome

albionmoonlight 02-26-2014 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuikSand (Post 2906064)
I know we have/had a thread here on fake news stories being incorrectly taken as true... quick search couldn't find that so here's a nice one from Maryland politics:

Annapolis police chief apologizes for citing hoax story in testimony against marijuana legalization - CapitalGazette.com: Under The Dome


I have sympathy for a busy person who gets lots of information across his desk who does not always spot a hoax story after it has been republished several times.

But I am . . . surprised that a police chief, who I would hope has a fair amount of experience with drugs and drug users, could ever believe (1) that marijuana is so dangerous that 37 people died of an overdose in one day, and (2) that those hippies out in Colorado are so into their weed that 37 bodies didn't even give them pause in their legalization crusade.

panerd 02-26-2014 12:07 PM

West County mom charged after burning sons with fireworks inside SUV, causing crash, police say : News

You have to read the article to see how insane this lady is.

mauchow 02-26-2014 12:14 PM

Attempted murder. Send this crazy chick to prison for life.. good choice you made their lover guy. Cheating on your wife is a no no and then cheating on your wife with a crazy person is another one.

Leave your wife for me or else... and then basically a suicide note indicating that she planned to kill all three. Aye aye aye

Blackadar 02-26-2014 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panerd (Post 2906108)


As Stan Marsh would say, "dude, this is pretty fucked up right here".

Lathum 03-04-2014 07:52 PM

Protesters on ziplines hang banners from P&G towers downtown - Cincinnati News, FOX19-WXIX TV


wife had a birds eye view of this.

Galaxy 03-07-2014 01:17 AM

Might not be NSFW:

http://firstwefeast.com/laugh/interv...-a-hot-pocket/

"“I Would Definitely Recommend It”: An Exclusive Interview with the Kid Who Got Suspended from Vine for Having Sex with a Hot Pocket"

cartman 03-07-2014 12:23 PM

Man complains somebody got under hood of his car, put steak on battery - Police Blotters - Northwest Florida Daily News

sterlingice 03-07-2014 12:35 PM

Is there a "stupid criminals" RSS feed or something?

SI

mckerney 03-07-2014 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice (Post 2908556)
Is there a "stupid criminals" RSS feed or something?

SI


Does @_FloridaMan count as one?

Speeding PSL man tells cops he's 'on his way to kill his friend' - Off the Beat with Will Greenlee

Breeze 03-07-2014 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice (Post 2908556)
Is there a "stupid criminals" RSS feed or something?

SI


Nah, just every day occurances in Florida...

ColtCrazy 03-07-2014 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy (Post 2908466)
Might not be NSFW:

http://firstwefeast.com/laugh/interv...-a-hot-pocket/

"“I Would Definitely Recommend It”: An Exclusive Interview with the Kid Who Got Suspended from Vine for Having Sex with a Hot Pocket"


He is an idiot. Wow, my head hurts from just reading that.

Dutch 03-08-2014 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breeze (Post 2908567)
Nah, just every day occurances in Florida...


The traffic is fun too.

Yesterday on my way to work some dumbass was lost and stopped at a right turn...he was on the primary road mind you, and then thought about it for a bout 10 seconds to determine if that was the road he really wanted to be on...

...and the other day an old lady wanted to exit the I-275 in Tampa from the 3rd lane (next to the "fast" lane)....and slowed...and slowed....and then stopped and put on her blinker. She wasn't missing that exit for nothing. I was stunned when the expected accordion crash of wall to wall cars didn't follow. She made it over and off the freeway successfully, fwiw.

Radii 03-09-2014 12:35 AM

Missing woman unwittingly joins search party looking for herself | Weird | News | Toronto Sun

edit: just realized this is a rather old story, got posted to a small subreddit i read and i thought it was new. Ah well, still amusing!

JediKooter 03-13-2014 02:23 PM

And in more Florida news: Convicted criminal says he's too morbidly obese for prison | Odd News - Yahoo News

"In addition to his obesity, Olivos said he suffered from rectal bleeding..."

Not sure that's really going to stop once you do finally get to prison.

PilotMan 03-14-2014 05:26 PM

Go Mississippi!

Mississippi Leads Nation in Gay Porn Viewership « KRON4 – San Francisco Bay Area News

JediKooter 03-14-2014 07:39 PM

You can't spell Mississippi with out those humpback, humpback, eyes...

Critch 03-29-2014 01:04 PM

With pictures!:

Mark Goddard: Man chops own hand off using homemade guillotine | Metro News

JediKooter 03-29-2014 04:10 PM

At least it was his left hand.

mckerney 03-29-2014 04:25 PM

Darth Vader nominated by Internet Party to run for Ukrainian presidency

Ukraine looking to elect someone who won't have a problem going toe to toe with Putin.

sterlingice 03-29-2014 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Critch (Post 2915243)


Shockingly, not Florida Man

SI

EagleFan 03-30-2014 08:52 PM

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...icle-1.1708068


Um, wow...

For one thing, why would you go to the counter for not getting enough napkins, how about grabbing a couple from the f*cking napkin dispenser...

For another... really????

EagleFan 03-30-2014 08:52 PM

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...icle-1.1708068


Um, wow...

For one thing, why would you go to the counter for not getting enough napkins, how about grabbing a couple from the f*cking napkin dispenser...

For another... really????

Lathum 03-30-2014 09:07 PM

I was walking around the barrier to this yesterday and had no idea.

BBC News - Black Death skeletons unearthed by Crossrail project

ColtCrazy 03-31-2014 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 2915640)
I was walking around the barrier to this yesterday and had no idea.

BBC News - Black Death skeletons unearthed by Crossrail project


That's a pretty interesting find. The poor in the 15th century didn't stand much of a chance really.

JediKooter 03-31-2014 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 2915640)
I was walking around the barrier to this yesterday and had no idea.

BBC News - Black Death skeletons unearthed by Crossrail project


One of the pictures in the link reminds me of Reign of Fire. :)

molson 03-31-2014 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter (Post 2915886)
One of the pictures in the link reminds me of Reign of Fire. :)


I was thinking that last photo would be a great internet dating profile picture.

JediKooter 03-31-2014 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson (Post 2915889)
I was thinking that last photo would be a great internet dating profile picture.


Haha! Chicks would 'dig' it. :)

mckerney 04-05-2014 12:25 PM

No President Vader for Ukraine. :(

BBC News - Ukraine: 'Darth Vader' presidency bid rejected

AlexB 04-06-2014 04:03 PM

BBC News - How aliens and monsters 'invaded' a London bus stop

I like this a lot, very cool

stevew 04-06-2014 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter (Post 2915886)
One of the pictures in the link reminds me of Reign of Fire. :)


love that movie and I was disappointed it didn't do better.

Galaxy 04-06-2014 06:33 PM

Not really a "story," but more a fan tweeting a picture with Arian Foster, except...

Fan Tweets Pic With Arian Foster.... Only It's Not Him #Awkward #Photo

Critch 04-06-2014 06:38 PM

I bet she regrets blowing him in the toilets now.

Lathum 04-06-2014 06:46 PM

Ja Rule Responds To Gay Rumors, Denies Leaving His Wife For Prison Cellmate

Galaxy 04-06-2014 10:00 PM

Bench-clearing brawl in the charity NY Fire Department and New York Police Department game:

FDNY/NYPD Charity Hockey Game Features Bench-Clearing Brawl

stevew 04-06-2014 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum (Post 2917442)


This is like old as hell, or are their new rumors?

Lathum 04-07-2014 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew (Post 2917550)
This is like old as hell, or are their new rumors?


No idea how old it is but I didn't realize there is a statute of limitations.

MacroGuru 04-08-2014 09:19 AM

Spear-wielding man arrested in Cedar City standoff : Crime & Courts

sterlingice 04-08-2014 03:21 PM

Perri-air, anyone?

China's Smog Problem Is So Bad, One Town Brought In Fresh Mountain Air For Residents To Breathe | Weather Underground



SI

molson 04-24-2014 05:11 PM

Tremendous. Go Idaho!

N. Idaho man collecting every VHS copy of Speed

http://www.ktvb.com/news/N-Idaho-man...256538431.html

NobodyHere 04-24-2014 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson (Post 2921589)
Tremendous. Go Idaho!

N. Idaho man collecting every VHS copy of Speed

http://www.ktvb.com/news/N-Idaho-man...256538431.html


Wow, that's even crazier than having a Senator solicit prostitutes in an Airport bathroom!

ColtCrazy 04-24-2014 08:54 PM

The kickstarter for that is quite insane. Makes me almost want to give a $1 to it. Almost.

Critch 05-01-2014 07:51 PM

Sperm whale explodes as man tries to open stomach - video | World news | theguardian.com

Warning - the video is pretty nasty.

Galaxy 05-06-2014 09:49 AM

Man Robbed Waffle House With Pitchfork: Cops

Critch 05-09-2014 10:10 AM

Taxi driver who got sexual thrills from watching women trying not to wet themselves is arrested for giving female passengers biscuits laced with diuretics | Mail Online

molson 05-20-2014 04:28 PM

Man Busted For Trying To Have Sex With ATM | The Smoking Gun

NobodyHere 05-21-2014 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson (Post 2929087)


He apparently also tried to have sex with a picnic table.

FFS!!!1! WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED PERVETED PEOPLE WOULD EVER FIND A FRICKEN PICNIC TABEL TO BE "SEXY". THESE PEEPLES SHOULD BE LOKKED UP

JonInMiddleGA 05-25-2014 08:52 PM

Darwin Award nomination perhaps?

Teen tied to shopping cart drowns in Lake Allatoona - Rome News-Tribune: Police/Fire

Apparently, as I've pieced together from some other coverage, the whole shopping cart launch into the water is a fairly popular "game" these days.

Normally one end of the rope is tied to the shopping cart, the other end is tied to a pole or some other sturdy object.

In this case, the other end of the rope was tied to ... yep, you guessed it: the 18 y/o fatality.

cartman 05-27-2014 01:13 PM

Jeebus

http://amarillo.com/news/local-news/...der-15-minutes

vex 05-27-2014 01:18 PM

And 363 wings in 30 minutes?

cartman 05-29-2014 11:01 AM

No one knows if this religious leader is dead or meditating | GlobalPost

cartman 06-05-2014 04:07 PM

I wondered what Clarence Beeks had been up to since Trading Places.

Man in gorilla suit shot with tranquilliser dart at Tenerife zoo - Telegraph

JonInMiddleGA 06-06-2014 01:25 PM

Metro Atlanta "sovereign citizen" nutjob decides to attack the local courthouse (where he was due to plead out on drug & weapons charges), among the things he didn't count on were: a) a deputy that happened to be in the doorway engaging him with return fire pretty much immediately, and b) the local SWAT team response time being 27 seconds, since they were en route to another situation & were nearby when the call for backup came in

Suspect died without ever reaching the courthouse door, deputy wounded in the leg but already posting on Facebook that he's fine & not to worry.

Forsyth deputy shot in courthouse assault, may have stopped... | www.ajc.com

edit to add: A friend of a friend was apparently working on a nearby rooftop & caught most of the incident on video. You can't see what happens so much as hear it, but the basics are definitely displayed. Fair warning: language is definitely NSFW



mckerney 06-06-2014 03:44 PM

iafrica.com Teen charged as adult due to big penis

Curious if an attorney has ever tried to argue the opposite.

"Your honor, it is outrageous that my client would be charged as an adult for this crime. Yes he's 30 years old, but as you can see the report from this medical examination he has the penis of a 12 year old and should be tried as a minor accordingly."

lungs 06-10-2014 10:02 AM

CHARGES: Neighbor, 61, pulls gun on father teaching girl to ride bike

This would be a college friend of mine's dad that pulled the gun.

mckerney 06-18-2014 04:00 AM

'My Boobs Are More Important Than The Law,' Says Court-Defying Model With 11 Convictions

NobodyHere 06-23-2014 06:20 PM

Ok FOFC, what do ya got?

American Student Ends Up Trapped in Giant Vagina Sculpture

mckerney 06-23-2014 10:23 PM

Barack Obama mistaken for England World Cup player - FIFA World Cup 2014 - CBC

Quote:

Any fans of Manchester United defender Chris Smalling and coffee are likely perplexed after purchasing an unofficial World Cup mug sporting the player’s likeness.

What they ended up getting is Barack Obama’s mug on Smalling’s coffee cup.

To clarify, Barack Obama is the President of the United States. He has never been named to England’s World Cup team.

JPhillips 06-24-2014 10:25 AM

Vagina Sculpture Traps U.S. Student

molson 06-24-2014 10:35 AM

Quote:

He has never been named to England’s World Cup team.

That's what they want you to think.

AlexB 06-24-2014 12:05 PM

The way Smalling is playing I wouldn't mind at all if Obama produced an old birth certificate that made him eligible for the England team.

cartman 06-24-2014 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlexB (Post 2938108)
The way Smalling is playing I wouldn't mind at all if Obama produced an old birth certificate that made him eligible for the England team.


Kenya was a British Colony in 1961. :D

AlexB 06-24-2014 12:13 PM

Reminds me of the England cricketer Ashley Giles who had mugs printed for his testamonial year, but instead of using his nickname "The King of Spin" the first batch were printed as "The King of Spain"

This immediately became his new nickname, and we used to sing "Viva Espana" whenever he came on to bowl :D

bulletsponge 06-24-2014 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlexB (Post 2938112)
Reminds me of the England cricketer Ashley Giles who had mugs printed for his testamonial year, but instead of using his nickname "The King of Spin" the first batch were printed as "The King of Spain"

This immediately became his new nickname, and we used to sing "Viva Espana" whenever he came on to bowl :D


im now more confused than ever when it comes to cricket

Critch 06-27-2014 01:20 PM

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/a...ts/502379.html

mckerney 06-27-2014 06:08 PM

Oklahoma Republican claims congressional opponent is dead, replaced with body double | KFOR.com

sterlingice 06-29-2014 12:57 PM

Awesome! :D

SI

Critch 07-05-2014 09:45 AM

Male nurse jailed for having sex with corpse of 82-year-old woman

mckerney 07-16-2014 02:31 PM

Arizona politician mistakes YMCA campers for migrant children

Critch 07-22-2014 10:36 PM

Largest aquatic insect in the world found in China


Julio Riddols 07-23-2014 04:29 AM

Thats a big nope.

MizzouRah 07-23-2014 07:52 AM

Yeah.. no thanks.

Wolfpack 07-23-2014 11:44 PM

The fact that they categorize it as "aquatic" seems to imply there's a larger insect that's non-aquatic....

Galaxy 07-27-2014 02:22 AM

Inadvertent photobomb leads to beach wedding brawl - Police Blotters - Northwest Florida Daily News

Suburban Rhythm 07-30-2014 07:13 AM

Police: Naked, knife-wielding woman stabs 2 in brawl over man

The video is great. Not what you are expecting...not that you'd want to see it once you see the woman in question.

AlexB 08-02-2014 01:18 PM

Alrighty then...

BBC News - Warwickshire man nose-pushes Brussels sprout up Snowdon

mckerney 08-02-2014 01:25 PM

School fires employee after post about homophones | Sunshine Coast Daily

NobodyHere 08-02-2014 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mckerney (Post 2948426)


Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.

molson 08-02-2014 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 2948435)
Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.


Fortunately, it appears to be more an ESL/test prep scam than an actual school.

JonInMiddleGA 08-03-2014 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere (Post 2948435)
Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.


Hrm. If they have a press officer/official spokesman, etc then this is probably a logical extension of that to some extent.

It'd probably be wiser to call them "Ass't Superintendent of Communications" and add additional duties but the role itself is probably realistic for a larger system in this day & age.

I mean, if they're using social media at all then SOMEBODY is doing that function, right?

Lathum 08-03-2014 05:41 AM

I wonder what percentage of the stories in this thread are from Florida.

molson 08-07-2014 04:05 PM

Police: Teacher Found In Classroom Intoxicated, Without Pants On Her First Day « CBS Houston

vex 08-07-2014 07:09 PM


But she looks so classy! This is just about 2 hours away from me, so.. wow.

QuikSand 08-08-2014 01:03 PM

Police Shoot Man Holding Fake Gun—Near Fake Gun Aisle In Walmart - Hit & Run : Reason.com

Plenty strange, as it is. Actually, heartbreaking if it's being described accurately (dubious).

To top off the strange, though:

Quote:

Originally Posted by whackjob online political rag
(Astonishingly, Crawford was not the only person to die in the Walmart that day. A 37-year-old woman, Angela Williams, suffered some kind of medical episode as she was exiting the store during the shooting. She apparently had a pre-existing medical condition, and died after being transported to the hospital.)


cartman 08-14-2014 08:48 AM

Here's one from Austin.

APD: BBQ specialist John Mueller, bartender lure burglar into... | www.statesman.com

Quote:

John Mueller is known to the community as a member of a Central Texas family renowned for expertly preparing smoked brisket. But Mueller got to show off a different talent – sleuthing – after his East Austin barbecue trailer was burglarized earlier this week, police said.

On Monday morning, someone pried off a pad lock to the John Mueller Meat Co. food trailer at 2500 E. Sixth St. and took an iPhone, an iPad and a cash register drawer, according to an arrest affidavit.

Mueller and a bartender at Kellee’s Place, which shares the same lot, decided that morning that they would attempt to lure the suspect into conversation with a bogus story. They sent text messages to the stolen iPhone indicating they were interested in paying top dollar for some tasty catered smoked meats at a party, the arrest affidavit said.

A man who was in possession of the iPhone was more than just interested in helping, police said. After an exchange with the bartender, he not only identified himself by name, but he also sent the bartender a picture of his face and genitals, the affidavit said.

Police had a photo of Orlando Ray Vallejo, 33, on file and determined that the man in their records – and the one seen in the lewd selfie – were the same person, the affidavit said.
Mueller and the bartender persuaded Vallejo to return to John Mueller Meat Co. for payment, police said. Less than 12 hours after the trailer had been burglarized, police were able to detain Vallejo at the restaurant. They found the stolen iPhone in his possession, the affidavit said.

Vallejo is charged with burglary of a building, a state jail felony. He was in the Travis County Jail on Wednesday night with bail set at $25,000.

JediKooter 08-14-2014 08:59 AM

I guess 'meat' had a couple of different meanings in that story.


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