Found a new toy (free "movie" maker), so was messing around with it - and used that story.

Prosecutors: Murder of Former Soldier Part of Plot Against Government - Fort Stewart, GA Patch

Maybe if they had an NCO as part of their group or went to OCS, they might have done better with their planning

Runaway cow shot by police


A sniper? Really?

I've got to call my mom and see if she has the inside scoop on this. She lives in Billings.

Billings, Montana has a sniper?

SI

Man killed while trying to create Bigfoot sighting - seattlepi.com

Guess he got Sas-squashed.

Please tell me you put sunglasses on after you typed that.

I even dyed my hair red.

How do you get struck by two cars?

First hit knocks him down, second car runs over him laying in the street, I guess.

Obviously those girls had it out for him.

I blame Jack's Links Beef Jerky for the death

If there is a silver lining to that story it's that he didn't kill a family who swerved into oncoming traffic to avoid him. Just when you think there is no limit to how stupid people can get

That must have been a crazy few minutes for those girls who might have thought they ran over bigfoot.

The only thing that would make this story better is if it came out that this guy was working for one of the channels that does those "searching for Bigfoot" shows.

why do these people always have 3 names?

Yea? It's like their mom is yelling at them to get inside the house.

So if there's a Randy Thomas Tenley, he won't be defamed.

Wouldn't he have to be famous first?

My favorite is Jim Ed.

Saw the name Jim Ed McDaniel this weekend. Couldn't help but think how different my visualization of this person might have been if I had seen James Edward McDaniel.

Funny, I thought that when Jon posted about the three-named QB getting cut. I thought "yeah, three-name QB never work out."

Sheriff: Drunken man turns off power on poultry farm, causes death of 70,000 chickens - U.S. News

My favorite part is that they found him in a pool of his own urine.

Your move, Alan from The Hangover

Why exactly do chickens need power to live?

SI

No access to World of Warcraft.

So he was out with a group that included the owners daughter? Wow. Wonder what that conversation over breakfast was like?

It is the Chicken Matrix

I spent 5 minutes in the comments section looking for an answer to this question, and the speculation seems to be that the chickens are packed in so tightly together that they need some kind of big fan circulating air or other oxygen infusion or they all suffocate to death. Another reason not to eat at chick fil a.

I was trying to play "guess the country" and I was wrong. For those playing the game at home, I'll put it in spoiler text



SI

We had a story locally about an 82-year old retired sheriff killed in a drive-by by an 81-year old former inmate the sheriff was responsible for sending to prison in the 80s.

What an ass

SI

So why do they keep saying, "apparently"? Is there marks on his body that indicate that it's a donkey that made those marks but they just aren't sure? Or does the body look like maybe it was a horse, but, the donkey is going to get all the blame?

I think it's time to see if Mayor Pro Tem Steve Phillips has a donkey costume in his garage. Call Jessica Fletcher! Call Columbo! Call Gil Grissom!

SI

There is a bumper crop today:

Cops: Suspect "Tebowed" After Attacking Teen | The Smoking Gun

Appetite for self-destruction?


NH woman arrested 4 times in 26 hours for loud music, assault - U.S. News

Second Bandon shooting victim dies Monday evening

So the 43 year old husband of the 31 year old shoots the 19 year old husband and 70 year old ex-husband of the 31 year old's 47 year old mother. The kicker, they all lived together.

The five people in the vehicle all lived together on a property in Myrtle Creek.


I read this as:

The five people all lived together in the vehicle on a property in Myrtle Creek.

Which, of course, makes perfect sense because I could see this story having a "living in a VAN down by the RIVER!" type of thing going on here. Or, in this case, a shack down by the creek.

This is my kind of woman.

Fredericton News Channel: Man sentenced for ejaculating on unsuspecting sunbathers in Wilmot and Odell parks


Thanks for clearing up any uncertainties there that might have existed.

Well now wait a minute...what if the women were NOT minding their own business?

Going by this judges ruling in another case I'm going to say the man needs to be found not guilty. Those women need to know that bad things can happen while sunbathing.

No jail time for Flagstaff cop in bar groping


If they hadn't gone sunbathing they wouldn't have been ejaculated on, end of story.

If those sorority girls had not pledged, Ted Bundy wouldn't have murdered them.

If Pearl Harbor had never been built, the Japanese would have never attacked it.

If the Jews never went to Europe, The Holocaust never would have happened.

If Kennedy never went to Dallas...

NJ teen on party bus killed after hitting head on overpass, cops say - U.S. News

Party over

Tragic. :(

Saw that bus story earlier this week. What I read was a bit more in-depth and suggested that the kid wasn't necessarily being an idiot and sticking his head out the top for kicks, but that it was extremely hot on the bus and they were trying to get some air. Not sure if that's true or not.

Apparently Cameron Diaz's sister is an alcoholic.

Woman charged with drunken driving at Knox elementary school » Knoxville News Sentinel

Can a DUI suspect be considered hot?

I have seen millions of DUI suspects over the years as a server in a restaurant. The answer is... yes.

You could drive her around in her Lexus.

Sweet! Maybe we can start a new thread for this. :)

Story linked on same page:

http://www.torontosun.com/2011/06/21...und-in-her-bed

It must be easy to lose people above the Arctic Circle (or close enough) and then have it make national news

SI

I once sat on a bus for an hour waiting for a person that was already on the bus. Was very frustrating.

I love when official statements contain such passive aggressive anger.

"We assumed that the parents had checked where the child could be before calling us"

Translation: "FUCK YOU!"

heh, that was a plot for Louie this season.

They got him.

Police Arrest Man, 53, Who "Tebowed" After Assaulting Pennsylvania Teen | The Smoking Gun

I take my cuts of meat seriously, but this takes it to a whole new level.

Argument over pork steak leads to fatal shooting - KansasCity.com

In all fairness, they do say pork will kill you.

WTF?

There are some people that just shouldn't be breathing our air.

Or eating our pork chops/steaks.

maybe they wanted their own private balloon boy saga?

[quote=cartman;2713875]I take my cuts of meat seriously, but this takes it to a whole new level.


err...

He's also his own grandpa.

I went to grade school with a kid that was the youngest of 18 children. He had several nieces and nephews that were 4+ years older than him. It was bizarre.

I don't think that's the proper method of getting a Prince Albert.

My older brother was about to turn 25 when our half brother was born. If hed had a kid then suddenly that child wouldve been older than their uncle.

Police: Man accused in ‘Tebow’ incident kills self

Not to make light of the guy's death, but the first line in that article is ridiculous:

A man accused of imitating an NFL quarterback in prayer has killed himself, authorities say.

Umm... I think he was accused of an actual crime.

That is just bizarre any way you look at it.

Former Elf CEO faces court in Togo - Yahoo! News

Actually, I just like the headline. I'm thinking short guy with green clothes

SI

But did he Tebow?

BBC News - Warrenpoint man 'beat then threw out naked woman'

Fallen over a jigsaw puzzle?

SI

Surely you could come up with a better excuse for your abusive boyfriend than that?

Yeah, I was thinking this was the British equivalent of the redneck "I tripped and fell"

SI

Well duh. Everyone knows that slow cooking allows the meat to fall right off the bone.

This is brilliant in so many ways

BBC News - Kingswear's Dart Princess ferry thief 'Jack Sparrow' jailed

I need a flere diagram just for that headline.

Illinois company on hook for millions in 'popcorn lung' lawsuit - chicagotribune.com

FEAR THE POPCORN LUNG

I heard that on the radio yesterday. Crazy.

In all fairness, she may be into some exotic "Extreme Jigsaw" thing involving scrap metal, shale rock & shards of glass.

Can I sue for having Pringles tits?

Genius!

When Amish attack!

Oh, Florida

SI